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ACTIVE READER: STYLE MATTERS
AVOIDING WORDINESS
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EXERCISE
ALEJANDRA FLORES PAZMIÑO
Re-write the following sentences with the goal of eliminating unnecessary words. The first number in parentheses following the sentence tells you how many words the sentence uses. The second number offers a guideline for how many words to aim for when re-writingthe sentence with an eye to brevity and conciseness.
1. The report is going to be written by the new firm. (11/7)
The new firm is writing the report.

2. The meeting is going to be chaired by the person who is the Director of the University’s Writing Program. (19/11)
The director of the University´s Writing Program is chairing the meeting.

3. This is an illustration of theSapir-Whorf hypothesis. (9/6)
This is a Sapir-Whorf hypothesis´s illustration
4. A full assessment of the University’s computing resources must occur before further expenditures are undertaken. (15/12)
A full University´s computing resources´ assessment must occur before expenditures are undertaken.
5. Our procedure for disposal is in conformity with federal standards. (10/7)
Ourprocedure for disposal is according to federal standards.
6. Conduct an analysis and make an evaluation of the test samples. (11/6)
Make an evaluation of test samples.

7. There are many factors that led to the French Revolution. (10/7)
Many factors led to the French Revolution.

8. The necessity of renovating the upper floor of the new Mathematics and Science Building because of theshoddy work by the contractor has been verified by Pat Smith, the head consultant of W.R. Knight Engineering. (36/30)
Pat Smith head consultant of W.R. Knight Engineering verified the necessity of renovating the upper floor of the new Mathematics and Science Building because of the contractor´s shoddy work.
9. We are currently in the situation of completing our investigation into all aspectsof the bridge approval process. (18/13)
We are completing our investigation into all aspects of the bridge approval process.
10. There is an error in the formula that looks like it is gong to compromise the results. (17/9)
An error in the formula could compromise the results.

11. Our beliefs were such that Parker and Fitzgibbons shared them, even when legal action was threatened byHarris. (18/12)
Our beliefs were Parker and Fitzgibbons shared, although Harris threatened legal action.

12. There is an obstacle in the tubing that is likely to cause a problem. (14/8)
An obstacle in the tubing might cause problems.

13. Fortunately, we have Pat Chabot in the position of being an expert in Information Technology Management, so she can oversee the way in which the newsystem is set up. (30/18)
We have Pat Chabot, an expert in Information Technology Management oversees how the new system is set up.

14. With regard to your previous letter of 6th of January 2008, in view of the fact that at the present time our office has a sufficient number of employees, we cannot offer you employment with our company at this point in time. (42/20)
Regarding your letterof January 6th 2008, we cannot offer you employment now because of a sufficient number of employees.
RUN ON SENTECES
Re-write making several sentences of the following sentences. Please correct any other errors also.
1. Title IX is a controversial topic because it is believed that women’s programs forcing outright eradication of many male teams in the sports, but there are many who believedthat Title IX forced to sexual integration of the playing fields, to the detriment of males.

* Title IX is a controversial topic.
* Women´s programs seem to force outright eradication of many male teams in the sports.
* Title IX forced to sexual integration of the playing fields, to the detriment of males.

2. I don’t understand how Angela herself didn’t do something about...
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