Puss in Boots: Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from... Puss... in Boots!
Shrek: I'll kill that cat!
Puss in Boots: [chuckles] Hairball.
Donkey: Oh! That is nasty!
Shrek: Whatshould we do with him?
Donkey: Take the sword and neuter him.
Give him the Bob Barker treatment.
Puss in Boots: Oh, no! Por favor!
I implore you!
It was nothing personal, Señor.
Iwas doing it only for my family.
My mother, she is sick.
And my father lives off the garbage!
The King offered me much in gold
and I have a litter of brothers...
Shrek: Whoa, whoa, whoa!Fiona's father paid you to do this?
Puss in boots: The rich King? Sí.
Shrek: Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.
Donkey: Oh! , come on Shrek!
Don't feel bad. Almost everybody
that meetsyou wants to kill you.
Shrek: Gee, thanks.
Maybe Fiona would've been better off
if I were some sort of Prince Charming.
Puss in boots: That's what the King said.
Oh, uh... sorry. I thoughtthat question
was directed at me.
Donkey: Shrek, Fiona knows
you'd do anything for her.
Shrek: Well, it's not like
I wouldn't change if I could.
I just... I just wish
I could make her happy.Hold the phone...
"A tear drop away."
Donkey! Think of the saddest thing
that's ever happened to you!
Donkey: Aw, man, where do I begin?
First there was the time that old farmertried to sell me for some magic beans.
Then this fool had a party and he have
the guests trying to pin the tail on me.
Then they got drunk and start beating me
with a stick, going"Piñata!!"
What is a piñata, anyway?
Shrek: No, Donkey! I need you to cry!
Donkey: Don't go projecting on me.
I know you're feeling bad,
but you got to...
You little, hairy,
Fairy Godmother: What? Is it on? Is it on?
This is Fairy Godmother.
I'm either away
from my desk or with a client.
But if you come by the office, we'll be
glad to make you an...