Dialogo en ingles

Interview with the Stars
(Ryan Seacrest –who`s being played by a black guy and that sucks- introduces the stars).
Ryan Seacrest: Hello, people. Am Ryan Seacrest and this is “Interview with the Stars”. Tonight we got three stars: Tom Cruise, Jack Black and Will Smith.
Will Smith: Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?
Ryan: What do you…?
Will: I am the last in the intro just because am a blackguy?!
(Will searches for something in his jacket. Ryan thinks it is a gun so he began to cover his face and scream like a little girl).
Ryan: No, not in the face, it pays the bills!
Will: Hey, I was going to take my phone. What, you thought I was going to take a gun and kill you?
(Will and Ryan began to laugh).
Ryan: Actually, I thought that you were about to do that.
Will: What? Man,that`s just insane! I`d never do that.
(Will calls a friend).
Will: You, what` up, Manny? Yeah, I want you to kill Ryan Seacrest after this show.
(Ryan looks with surprise when Will tells him).
Will: Am kidding!
(Will talks to Manny again).
Will: No, seriously, kill him.
(Ryan and Will look one each other with a sarcastic smile, like if everything was going to be ok –yeah right! That wasn`tgoing to happen, Ryan was going to get killed!-).
Ryan: Well, let`s begin with you Jack, how are…?
(Ryan realizes that Jack is eating Oreos).
Ryan: Jack, are you eating Oreos?
Jack: Maybe?
(Ryan takes a trash).
Ryan: Jack put that Oreos here.
(Jack throws the Oreo on his hand to the trash).
Ryan: All of it.
(Jack spits the Oreo on his mouth in the trash and then he feels like aForever-Alone).
Ryan: Well, how Jack feels like a Forever-Alone, why don`t we talk about you Tom?
Tom Cruise: Ahh, thank you. Thank you, thank you.
(Tom stands up to thank the audience).
Tom: Thank you! Thank you, thank you.
(Tom sits down again).
Ryan: Ok, Tom, talk us about you.
Tom: You know… this people, Jack Black, Will smith… They are not the answer, Ok? I am the answer. I can`t a… just a… (Sigh).Am the way to happiness, can`t a… am the way to peace, I can… I can… I can unit cultures, I can… I can eat… planets, I can just a…
(Tom begins to laugh like an idiot).
Tom: They are not superheroes, ok? I am
(Tom laughs like an idiot, again).
Tom: Cause’ am a… They can`t fly! , They can`t… I can fly, ok? I can fly. They see an accident and they are just gonna run in a bike, am going to stopit cause’ am a hero. The day they don`t have accidents am gonna make accidents, you can throw a little nails on the street and the accident happens and am the only one who can run up there and stop it.
(Tom finally shuts up and Ryan has a surprising-like reaction).
Ryan: Wow, traumatic. So, Will… Jack, are you eating Oreos again?
Jack: No, this is Kit-Kat.
(Ryan gets disappointed).
Ryan: Giveme that Jack.
(Jack gives the Kit-Kat to Ryan and he feels more Forever-Alone).
Jack: Aww.
(Ryan tries to recover some patience, but he can hardly does).
Ryan: Ok, Will, what…?
(Will`s phone beeps)
Will: You, what`s up bro? Yeah? Really? Again?! Mother… (Beep)! Dude, I swear for god that people is crazy as… (Beep) Ok, am coming.
Ryan: What now?!
Will: My “Negros” are under attack.
Ryan:“Negros”?!
Will: My people.
(Ryan doesn`t get a… -Beep-).
Will: You, my dudes, my brothers.
(Ryan still doesn`t get a… -Beep-).
Will: Black guys!
Ryan: Ohm, right.
(Ryan finally gets it).
Ryan: Wait, they are under attack? Who`s attacking them?
Will: Another group of “Negros”.
(Ryan watches will with uncompressing).
Will: We are complicated. Bye.
(Will leaves the place but Ryan triesto avoid that).
Ryan: But… wait!
(And he fail. Ha Ha Ha).
Ryan: Well, I think that…? You again?!
(Ryan discovers Jack eating something again)
Ryan: That`s it!
(Ryan takes a bag)
Ryan: Put all your food in here!
(Jack puts his food on the bag sadly)
Ryan: I said ALL!
(Jack ends with putting the food on the bag and he feels like a full Forever-Alone)
Ryan: Now, how do you feel?
(Jack...