A humorous Christmas sketch, in which the toy characters in a typical nativity scene prepare for this year's display.
Mary, Joseph, Angel (wearing beard), Wise Man (carrying gold) , Shepherd, Lamb & Lion, Policeman
Father Christmas, Rudolph.
(Mary, Joseph, Angel, Wise Man, Shepherd, Lamb & Lion all enter on stage in darkness, freeze intypical “nativity formation” around a manger. As lights come up, they all start yawning and stretching as if they are just awakening from a long sleep.)
Joseph: Well here we are again, back in the nativity scene.
Mary: Yes hasn’t time gone quickly
Wise Man: It only seems like yesterday we were being packed in bubble wrap, and put away in the attic, I can hardly believe a whole year hasgone.
Angel: Enough reminiscing. Hadn’t we better do the usual checks for damage ?….Oh, that’s not right for a start (tries to straighten his bent halo)
Wise Man: And you look like you need a shave
Angel: That was the little humans idea of a joke last year; he thought it would be funny to paint a beard on the angel.
Shepherd: And what’s happened to my flock ?…there used to be 2 lambs in here,and now there’s only one
Lamb: Baaa (sad).
Lion: And me, I’m a replacement for the lost sheep.
Shepherd: Don’t be daft, you’re a lion
Lamb: I don’t want to share a stable with him
Lion: Don’t worry, you won’t be …for long (licking lips)
Lamb: Baaa (worried)
Shepherd: You’ll be OK…this is a Nativity Scene, everything is sweetness and light.
Joseph: That’s right…”the lamb will liedown with the lion”.
Angel: The Lamb lies down…wasn’t that Genesis?
Wise Man: No, I think it was Isaiah actually.
Shepherd: Well, aren’t you the wise man.
Joseph: So is everyone else. OK, no more damage to report ?
Mary: I’m sure there’s something still missing.
Lamb: (looking at Wise Man) I know I’m not the brightest here, and I hate to point out the obvious, but aren’t there meant tobe 3 of you
Wise Man: Don’t remind me….sadly, Balthazar got the boot.
Lamb: You mean he was sacked?
Wise Man: No, he was trodden on……., and as for Melchior..he was shredded in the food mixer by the same joyous little human that painted the beard on Angel Face here.…and what's worse wait till you see the replacement (blows whistle)
Policeman: Evening all.
Joseph: Ohthis is ridiculous….we don’t need a policeman in the nativity scene.
Policeman: Of course you do…someone has got to bring a little law and order into this place. For a start it looks like there’s a dangerous animal on the loose…
Lion: I’m not dangerous……..I’m going to lie down with the lamb (puts arm around lamb).
Lamb: Oh no you’re not (pushing him away).
Policeman: Is this lion troublingyou madam...
Shepherd: It’s alright officer, they’re with me.
Policeman: ... and then I believe there’s a consignment of gold bullion that needs protecting from thieves.
Joseph: Look..this is meant to be a nativity scene…who's going to steal the gold around here?
Policeman: (looking at angel) Not wishing to type cast anybody, but you look mighty strange..
Angel: I’m an Angel…alright.Policeman: A bearded angel ?….are you sure it’s not a disguise?
Angel: You show me where it says an Angel can’t have a beard…I’m an asexual being you know.
Policeman: If you say so, sir.
Mary: Stop it you two…Oh Joseph, this isn’t how it’s meant to be, there’s something just not right.
Joseph: Don’t go upsetting yourself Mary, you’ll wake the baby.
Mary: Of course, how could we all forget(looking into manger – screams) Ahhhh, The Baby!
Policeman: Whats wrong, is it coming ?
Joseph: You’re too late for that.
Mary: The crib's empty….where’s my baby?
Wise Man: It looks as if the humans have forgotten Jesus.
Mary: No…no…surely not…they can’t have….
Angel: Without Jesus, there’s no point any of us being here.
Shepherd: Look, there’s a human coming this way, carrying...