How the upbringing of a child does affects him in his development to become a young adult?
As an overall evaluation of this essay I liked the theme because the writer knew how to present thistheme. I notice that it was a theme that the writer was passionate about it and the way of writing was a correct one for the theme. The thesis of this essay needs more explanation in some parts of it. Thepart of upbringing should be more specific in terms of choosing one of the aspects in the upbringing of a child. This change could make the thesis stronger and the argument clearer. As an example youcould choose education or discipline and create a clear direction on the thesis statement.
This work has strong information from texts and definitions of terms for a better understanding of thetext. The writer uses examples to support the idea that is trying to express like when the writer quotes at the end of the paragraph #14. The argument didn’t have an opposing argument, because in myopinion I found opposing arguments on the points she used to prove the main point. We can see this on the paragraph #16 when the writer says that it is not too late she present an opposite point to whatshe was saying. The writer only used quotations from books and internet, but I think that some statistics about problems in youth and causes of them should be useful if they presented the family,discipline or education as a cause of problems.
This books and internet sites seemed totally reliable and not created or invented. This work has a good organization of the themes used. I won’t alterthe order of any paragraph, because it may change the central idea of the work and all of them are placed on a strategic place for the main idea. I though in changing some paragraphs withdefinitions, but they are important for understanding. This leads me to say that the paragraphs organization is the correct one for presenting the ideas, because the main ideas of all paragraphs are related in...
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