1. Why Can't the English?
2. Wouldn't It Be Loverly?
3. With a Little Bit O' Luck
4. I'm an Ordinary Man
5. Just You Wait
6. The Rain In Spain
7. I Could Have Danced All Night
8. Ascot Gavotte
9. On the Street Where You Live
10. You Did It
11. Show Me
12. Get Me to the Church On Time
13. A Hymn to Him
15. I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face
1. Why Can't the English? [ Top ]
4. Look at her, a prisoner of the gutter,
5. Condemned by every syllable she ever uttered.
6. By law she should be taken out and hung,
7. For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue.
12. Henry imitatingher
14. Heaven's! What a noise!
15. This is what the British population,
16. Calls an elementary education.
19. Oh, Counsel, I think you picked a poor example.
22. Did I?
23. Hear them down in Soho square,
24. Dropping "h's" everywhere.
25. Speaking English anyway they like.
26. Yousir, did you go to school?
29. Wadaya tike me for, a fool?
32. No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike!
33. Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?
34. This verbal class distinction, by now,
35. Should be antique.
36. If you spoke as she does, sir,
37. Instead of the way you do,
38. Why, youmight be selling flowers, too!
39. Hear a Yorkshireman, or worse,
40. Hear a Cornishman converse,
41. I'd rather hear a choir singing flat.
42. Chickens cackling in a barn
43. Just like this one!
49. I ask you, sir, what sort of word is that?
50. It's "Aoooow" and "Garn" that keep her in her place.51. Not her wretched clothes and dirty face.
52. Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?
53. This verbal class distinction by now should be antique.
54. If you spoke as she does, sir,
55. Instead of the way you do,
56. Why, you might be selling flowers, too.
57. An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him,
58. The moment hetalks he makes some other Englishman despise him.
59. One common language I'm afraid we'll never get.
60. Oh, why can't the English learn to set
61. A good example to people whose English is painful to your ears?
62. The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.
63. There even are places where English completely disappears.
64. In America, they haven't used it foryears!
65. Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?
66. Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks have taught their Greek.
67. In France every Frenchman knows his language fro "A" to "Zed"
68. The French never care what they do, actually, as long as they pronounce
69. in properly.
70. Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning.
71. AndHebrews learn it backwards, which is absolutely frightening.
72. But use proper English you're regarded as a freak.
73. Why can't the English,
74. Why can't the English learn to speak?
78. Wouldn't It Be Loverly? [ Top ]
79. It's rather dull in town,
80. I think I'll take me to Paree.
82. The mistress wants to openup
83. The castle in Capri.
84. Me doctor recommends a quiet summer by the sea!
85. Mmmm, Mmmm, wouldn't it be loverly?
88. All I want is a room somewhere,
89. Far away from the cold night air.
90. With one enormous chair,
91. Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?
92. Lots of choc'lates for me to eat,
93. Lots of coal makin' lots of...