Lírica en inglés

En nuestro colegio, a los estudiantes de Literatura Universal y Música nos piden una colaboración en otros idiomas para el festival. Este trabajo se dedica al festival benéfico de la escuela yrepresenta un 20% de la nota de ambas asignaturas. Por lo general nos piden dos rimas por alumno, basadas en experiencias personales. Aquí tenéis mis dos poemas, uno basado en la confusión y alegría delenamoramiento, y el segundo en lo extraño e impulsivo de un "crush".

1. It's funny when you think about it
Love is game for two
Where the objective isn't wining
But knowing if the other is playingtoo
Sometimes signals aren't so clear
And I have no clue about you
All I know is that I just can't feel the ground
Whenever, whenever you're around
And my heart jumps
The time stops
My smilegrows bigger everytime
I see you coming through the door
(Valorado con un 1,8/2)

2.I was just walking by
When you suddenly appeared
Like a ginger angel dropped from the sky
And I saw you smileAll I could think was
You were so cute when you ticked your nose
And everyone in this bus but you
Has noticed the way I
stare at you
And all I want you is to meet my gaze
And say
"Hellounknown girl"
I don't know you're name
I don't know your age
But all I can think of
Is how you're brown eyes glow
And how your flaming hair
Contrasts your skin so pale
Oh, I'll spend forever with youUnknown girl
My heart melts with your smile
Your face is heaven to my eyes
Your laugh sounds like music to me
Your red hair takes me higher
And your lips look like paradise
If you could justtake a moment
And notice me
Please, girl
Just meet my gaze and say
"Hello, unknown girl"
[chorus]
I'm captivated
By the way you look
I just melt 
When I look at you
(Valorado con un 1,5/2)Para construir poemas en otros idiomas, lo principal es intentar empezar con rimas sencillas "you-you", y después seguir con otras más complicadas (gaze-girl), pero sobre todo, si son canciones...