Mexico

Manners In Mexico
By Mark McGrew
April 2005 Guadalajara-Lakeside Volume 21, Number 8
It is all based on “respect.” And if you are not treated with a level of respect by anyone you meet, just turn your back and leave. Don’t argue. Don’t insist. Don’t do anything, except, turn your back and leave.
Whenever you feel as if someone is not being respectful, give them the benefit of the doubt.Maybe you heard wrong. My wife, and a group of American friends and I stopped at a restaurant. This is an example of a misunderstanding of the language. I was doing the ordering for everyone, as I was the only one who spoke Spanish. As I finished each person’s order, the waitress would ask, and nod, “And for this gentleman?” and I would give her that person’s order. My wife is very white and hasblonde hair and hazel eyes. When the waitress nodded towards Becky she asked, “Y la Wayda?” Wayda is a term to say “blondie.” It can be used as an insult or as a very high act of respectfulness.
Becky understood enough Spanish to understand that the girl was asking what she wanted to eat, but what she heard was different than what I had heard.
She threw her menu down and said, “Did you hear what shejust called me?”
Well, no I didn’t, so I asked Becky what the girl had said. Becky said, “She called me a White ass!”
The waitress now knew there was a problem though she didn’t know what, but she was obviously concerned. Meanwhile, I was laughing too hard to explain to Becky, who kept getting more annoyed. The waitress fled the scene. So, then I calmed down, explained to Becky the term “Wayda”and how it had been used, and Becky was very embarrassed.
Then I went to the kitchen and spoke to the waitress, who was almost in tears and I explained to her what had just happened. She was so apologetic that she had been misunderstood, but I kept telling her “No, no. It’s OK. She understands now. It’s OK.”
She came out to the table with me and in fluent Spanish made one of the most movingapologies I had ever heard. I was stunned. When she finished, I told her I was going to explain everything word for word to Becky. Before I was half way finished, Becky had tears in her eyes and she kept saying “Lo siento” (I’m sorry). Becky got up and thanked her in Spanish, and they hugged and smiled and all was well. The two ladies parted as fast friends. The next time we went down, Becky tookher a bunch of American chocolate candies for her family.
Your waiters will always be courteous and use phrases such as “At your service. It is my pleasure to serve you.” And other phrases that we see only in the old black and white movies. And they are sincerely genuine in their use of words.
Mexicans do not condone any form of disrespect to a lady. And even less so to an older lady. They gaveus life. Respect that. Be very respectful in stores and offices. Always address the men as “gentlemen” and the woman as “ladies.”
Always use the best manners you can produce. You can never over do it. Some people will protest that you are being too formal with them. Unless they are very good friends, don’t change. They may protest, but they respect you for it and it makes them feel good. It honorsthem in front of their friends and family.
Don’t we all like to be treated with respect? Mexicans do too.
When you are introduced to someone, make a slight bow of respect and acknowledgement, and offer your hand. When you shake hands, use a very light grip. The American form of shaking hands with a tight grip can either alarm them, surprise them or offend them. Always use a light grip, but beprepared to squeeze harder if you feel the other person make a firm grip.
One custom I find strange is turning your back on someone. Never turn your back to another person, unless it is absolutely necessary and you excuse yourself first, or ask permission. Turning your back is one of the most offensive things you can do. Even in the kitchen when the women are cooking, they rarely turn their...