Obesidad

Obesity: The Plague that is sweeping the Nation
Brandy Autrey
ENG 215 Effective Academic Writing
September 5, 2011

Obesity: The Plague that is sweeping the Nation
Obesity rates are increasing in the United States and across the globe. There are several causes such as slow metabolism or lack of physical activity, (would and complete the sentence better?) more alarming is the problem of junkfood. The effects of the increasing epidemic, obesity, include disease, cancer, and even death! Methods to prevent further damage to the population exist, and informing the nation and globe of how and why is crucial to the rehabilitation of obese individuals and others on the verge. By exploring the cause of obesity along with its effects on the body and mind the hope (this sentence soundsunclear, much like a run on sentence. It is unclear what you are meaning by “with its effects on the body and mind the hope”.), better yet, (insert the) goal is to give others the knowledge needed to fight the plague of obesity.(great introductory paragraph and thesis) (

Causes

Obesity is the result of many issues and the root causes all lay (all lay seems vague, perhaps are found may flowbetter?) within the body and mind. Causes range from something as simple as over eating to more complex problems of (perhaps like or such as) having a slow metabolism. Other triggers of obesity include: poor diet, malnutrition, genes passed down, and depression. Early in life (insert comma after life) if a person is prone to bad eating habits (insert comma after habits) later the person will be (ifrephrased it will become clearer) more prone to the possibility of being overweight. The CDC or Center for Disease Control and Prevention monitors the growing epidemic and expresses concern in the rising numbers of obesity cases. Over 64 percent of people within the American borders are considered to be obese, which puts our country at the top compared to other countries around the globe (The weightof the world obesity: a global epidemic, 2003). (That last paragraph with stats is great()

Excessive over eating (insert also?) contributes largely to the problem of obesity. Part of the reason why people over eat is the wide variety of temptation that centers on junk food (This statement is vague, how is temptation a wide variety?). “It’s official. Food is the new tobacco” (Obesity can go tothe head, 2002). Through advertisement on billboards and television (inset comma after television) the ease of accessibility (would sound better rephrased, possibly without the ease) of (swap of for to) poor foods make restaurants prime choices for junk food, and it only aids the problem (this is a long sentence). Children are especially affected and are given the (remove the) wrong impressions ofwhat really (actually or truly may sound better, really sounds vague) has nutritional value; this makes it hard for healthy eating habits to be learned and incorporated into daily life (The weight of the world obesity: a global epidemic, 2003). Early life malnutrition is a sign that a person will be more likely to suffer from obesity and the affects. “An estimated 17.6 million children under 5are estimated to be overweight worldwide. The U.S. Surgeon General reports that the number of overweight children in the United States has doubled and that the number of overweight adolescents has tripled since 1980” (The weight of the world obesity: a global epidemic, 2003). Statistics show the hard facts and the growing alarm obesity is creating (vague sentence, consider rephrasing, it is unclearwhat you mean to say with “statistics show the hard facts and the growing alarm”) . Over portioning of foods also contributes to over eating habits. “According to a study published in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, the size of an average order of French fries has nearly tripled since 1955” (The weight of the world obesity: a global epidemic, 2003). Other issues, aside...