By: Waleska I. Ronda
I remember my mother telling me “You were so quiet and nice when you were a baby. What a wonderful child you were; never cried even if you were wet. I wonder what happened to you.” As we watched The Price Is Right, she would look at me and tell me how she almost lost me after birth. I guess I’ve always struggled to survive. Now it’s so different, I feel nopain; I feel no hunger; I just don’t feel anything at all but an odd cold breeze caressing my light watery blue face. But, I can still remember mother, so strict but loving at the same time.
There were some great memories I have to say. Yes, I remember it was my turn to be blessed by God. One of the best miracles occurred in my troubled life. He finally came. It was the first time I had the honorto see PJ. It seemed so unreal. His skin was fair and pink like satin and his nails were so thin and transparent you couldn’t see them at all. The skin wasn’t wrinkled like most babies. He looked almost three months old even though he was just coming to a new life. I desired him so much but Philip no, he didn’t care. I was worried but when I saw PJ as he stared at me with those beautiful almondshaped emerald eyes, it was different. I felt peace and felt I had nothing to worry. We were going to fight together to survive in this new gigantic world.
I can’t remember when the look on PJ’s eyes changed. I can see he is confused and sad. I wish he could hear me when I whisper in his ear that I love him and that he has to be strong and things will get better. I hope he forgives me somedayand I certainly forgive him. You see, it all changed that terrible day. I wish I could take things back to the day I was forced to be far from everyone I loved.
Now it might seem hard to understand but you have to know the whole story in order to agree with me. You see PJ is seventeen now and his sister Paris is fifteen. They never got along very well. It was always a fight but now even thoughthey both hurt I can glance and see how much they love each other. PJ would always say: “You love Paris more than you love me”. I would reply: “PJ why do you say that? You know it’s not true, you’re always picking on your sister and hitting her. She’s a girl and you need to respect her”. Then PJ would reply: “I’m going to move with grandpa. He gives me everything I need. He loves me and he studied.That’s why he has money. You should’ve finished studying before we were born. Because of you I can’t have what other kids my age have”. And he kept on going no matter how hard I tried to convince him that everything I did was precisely for them. Now I feel strange though. Something is not quite right. I see everyone but that person I longed to love. I can see my friends and family but I can’tsee Papa. He was a hero for PJ. Not quite the same for Paris. I guess she reminded him of me. But PJ he was the first grandchild plus he was the little man.
When I think about it, it’s funny. “What a devoted grandfather!” If I mentioned to Papa I wanted to buy PJ an Xbox 360 but wasn’t going to get a Christmas bonus, there was Papa with the X-Box 360. It was great I thought but it onlyreminded PJ that Papa got it for him not me. PJ had his grandpa’s approval to use it only at his house. Anything he bought for PJ or Paris was only to be used in his house. Papa would say: “You’re mother is careless and doesn’t take care of anything.”
Now, it is important for all of you to know the relationship I had with Papa. Only then you would understand what happened that rainy terrible day. Papahad so much personality. He was strong, handsome military strict, and respected. There are so many things I can say from Papa I wouldn’t be able to stop. When I was little I remember always missing him, hoping he would come back home. It didn’t matter if I was in Fayetteville, Jacksonville or Fort Bragg all I wanted was to see him. It was so exciting when I saw him coming in his dark green...