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HOW TO WIN FRIENDS & INFLUENCE PEOPLE

I. “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”
• People don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.
• B.F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than ananimal punished for bad behavior. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
• Hans Selye, another great psychologist, said, “As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation”.
• Lincoln’s, and from that time on, he almost never criticized anybody for anything.
• “Judge not, that ye benot judged”.
• It will relieve my feelings, but it will make Meade try to justify himself. Sharp criticisms and rebukes almost invariably end in futility.
• Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improveothers—yes, and a lot less dangerous.
• “Your bad manners are exceeded only by your bad manners”.
• When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
• Benjamin Franklin, The secret of his success? Speak ill of no man, and speak allthe good I know of everybody.
• Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do.
• But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
• “A great man shows his greatness” “By the way he treats little men”.
• “To show you I’m sure that you’ll never do this again, I want you to service my F-51 tomorrow”.
• One of the classics of Americanjournalism “Father Forgets”.
• “To know all is to forgive all”.
• PRINCIPLE 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

II. The Big Secret of Dealing With People
• THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY UNDER HIGH HEAVEN TO GET ANYBODY TO do anything.
• The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want.
• Sigmund Freud said that everything you and I do springs fromtwo motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great.
• John Dewey said the deepest urge in human nature is “the desire to be important”.
• William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated”.
• Here is a gnawing and unfaltering human hunger, and the rare individual who honestly satisfies this heart hunger will hold people in the palm of hisor her hand and “even the undertaker will be sorry when he dies”.
• It was this desire for a feeling of importance that inspired Dickens to write his immortal novels. This desire inspired Sir Christopher Wren to design his symphonies in stone. This desire made Rockefeller amass millions that he never spent! And this same desire made the richest family in your town build a house far too largefor its requirements.
• It is this desire that lures many boys and girls into joining gangs and engaging in criminal activities. The average young criminal, is filled whit ego, and his first request after arrest is for those lurid newspapers that make him out a hero.
• If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. That determines your character.• If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.
• “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people”, said Schwab , “the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and...