Central park west

INT. CENTRAL PARK WEST APARTMENT - DAY.
The Central Park West apartment of Phyllis and Sam Riggs. It is spacious with dark woods and books. They live there, and it also is where Phyllis practices her psychoanalysis. The layout enables a patient to enter the front door and privately wait, then privately go into the inner sanctum for his or her session. What we see predominantly is the largeliving room and the front door, a set of doors leading to other rooms. It is about 6 P.M. on a November Saturday. No one is on stage as we hear ringing at the door and, since it receives no response, knocking. The knocking continues through the following dialogue.

CAROL (offstage)
Phyllis? Phyllis?
Phyllis enters from SR fully dressed. She sits on the SR end of the sofa.

CAROL (CONT’D)Phyllis! It’s Carol.

PHYLLIS
I’m coming.

CAROL
Are you OK?

PHYLLIS
I’m soaking wet. You caught me in the shower.
(Phyllis crosses US to bar. Pours a drink, downs it. More door buzzing and knocking from Carol).
All right. I’m dressed.

Phyllis crosses US to front door and opens it to let Carol in.

CAROL
Are you all right?

PHYLLIS
No details, please.

CAROL
No details of what? Iseveryone OK?

PHYLLIS
Everyone? You mean in the third-world countries too?

CAROL
The third-world countries?

PHYLLIS
You mean like Zimbabwe?

CAROL
Did something happen in Africa?

PHYLLIS
My God -you’re so literal- it’s such a curse to be literal. A waste of wit- all my jokes and little ironies go straight down to the toilet.
CAROL
What’s going on?

PHYLLIS
The reference tothe third-world countries is a one-liner meant to lighten imperceptibly the pain of this all-too-human tragedy we are faced with.

CAROL
What tragedy?

PHYLLIS
Please –I would hardly call this tragedy.

CAROL
How long have you been drinking?

PHYLLIS
Long enough to achieve a state of one with nature –or put another way –a drunken stupor. What’s the difference between sushi and pussy?CAROL
Phyllis-

PHYLLIS
Rice. One of my patients told it to me. Don’t try and deconstruct it, Carol -it’s a phenomenon too abstract for your thought process- it’s called humor.

CAROL
I’ll make some coffee.

PHYLLIS
Only if you want it. I’m content to stay with my special hyperdry martini -all gin and I lightly say the word “vermouth”.

CAROL
What happened?

PHYLLIS
What are youaccusing me of?

CAROL
What is the emergency?

PHYLLIS
What emergency?

CAROL
The message on my service.

PHYLLIS (noticing her garment)
Where’d you get that coat?

CAROL
You’ve seen this coat a hundred times.
PHYLLIS
I have?

CAROL
Including yesterday.

PHYLLIS
One of my patients was wearing this fur coat -OK? Made up of many skins.

CAROL
What’s the emergency?

CAROLIs Sam all right?

PHYLLIS
No details, please.

CAROL
Is he?

PHYLLIS
He’s fine. The worst threat to Sam’s health in his fifty years has been one case of chapped lips.

Phyllis pours a drink.

CAROL
Why are you distraught?

PHYLLIS
Distraught? I haven’t even reacted yet -this is nothing- you got that? Nothing -nada-zich-where’d you get that coat?

CAROL
Bloomingdale’s. Lastyear.

PHYLLIS
What animal?

CAROL
It’s a good old Republican cloth coat. Now, why did you leave that hysterical message?

PHYLLIS
I’d rather not discuss it.

CAROL
You’d rather not discuss it? I get this frantic, desperate message -emergency, crisis- help. I called you ten times.

PHYLLIS
Was that you? Usually I can tell your ring. It’s tremulous and tentative.

CAROL
Where’s Sam?What’s wrong?
PHYLLIS
I don’t want to tell you.

CAROL
Why’d you call me?

PHYLLIS
Because I have to talk to someone.

CAROL
So talk.

PHYLLIS
Can we not discuss it?

CAROL
Phyllis

PHYLLIS
Can’t you see I’m being evasive?

CAROL
Why?

PHYLLIS
I’m sorry if I inconvenienced you. Did you and Howard have plans?

CAROL
No. I was at Sotheby’s.

PHYLLIS
What’d you get?...