Colect essey simple

FIRST DRAFT: Collect Essay Sample

Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school – tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.(1) I always knew I wanted to become a community leader. I come from a Vietnamese immigrant family and my parents have taught me through their survival stories how care about thecommunity. (2) My parents always taught me to appreciate what I have because they have also struggled very much when first coming to this country. (3) When I was younger they always taught me that I haveresponsibility to help the community and not forget how lucky I am. (4) So, I grew up volunteering in soup kitchens. (5) I took this interest further at a youth leader in my high school, Summertime Hillsin Cupertino, CA. (6) Growing up near the headquarters of Apple Computers, I know I am exposed to a unique community of changes of technology. (7) At my school, I am the lead advocacy officer forPeople First – an anti-genocide coalition. (8) Doing things like gather donations in classroom to fund firewood and food supplies for Darfur victims makes me feel connected to the global community. (9) Ialso am a varsity athlete on the girl’s softball team and that is an important part of who I am. (10) My parents support all of my interests and I know that your school is best for me.

PLEASEANSWER THESE QUESTIONS ON A SEPARATE PAPER

E.What are your first reactions to this short essay?
F.Please circle any words you don’t know. (It is good to add to your vocabulary!)
G.In one color,underline what words/phrases/ideas your think are the strongest. Explain please.
H.In one color, underline what words/phrases/ideas your think are the strongest. Explain please.
I.In terms of howthe ideas connect together. What would you rate this essay 1-10?
Explain please.
F. To look closer, make a list from #1-10. We will go through each sentence and discuss how well each idea...