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Hi… I know the next step would be introducing myself, telling my name, how old I am, who my parents are, etcetera, but the truth is I don’t even know my name… yet. All I know is I’m inside mymommy’s belly. Her name is Abigail, I know it because I can feel how she pays attention when someone calls that name, so I suppose she’s Abigail. She’s a little bit cold with me, but I know it’s not becauseshe doesn’t love me, I think it’s because she is a very busy person. She gets nervous sometimes, and when she does, a few smelly things run through her body, they call it ‘smoking’ or ‘cigarettes’, Itmakes me feel a little nauseous, but I get it, it’s ok, she likes it, so I guess it’s good.
Now… you might be wondering how long have I been in here; if my counting isn’t wrong, I’m 19 weeks old.God put me inside this wonderful woman I live in and I’m really grateful about it. Yes, I know God; He’s always by my side, when I’m sad, He makes me smile again. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed because ofall the discussions going on around my mom, they yell each other and once in a while, I can hear my mommy crying, it breaks my heart in a billion pieces, but then God comes, He touches me with hiswarm hands and He makes me feel ok again.
It might sound strange, but my mother has a mother too! I wonder if she was ever as tiny as I am, if she loved her mom as much as I love her. Yesterday, Icould hear them arguing, my mom was telling stuff like ‘I can’t stop it mom, let it be, It’s my life’, at the beginning I thought she was talking about me, about how she would never leave me, but then,her mother mentioned this weird word, ‘drugs’, I don’t know what it means, but I’m sure it can’t be bad if my mommy likes it.
I’d love to see what’s going on outside, I’d like to see my mother’sface, I bet she’s beautiful! I’d like to be held in her arms, I’d like to be kissed by her, and I’d like to hear her voice singing lullabies to me so I can fall asleep. Sadly, that will never happen....