El Amor

NOBODY FAMOUS

By

D. M. Larson

One Act Comedy about an actress who gets her wish to be famous, but not quite in the way she hoped. Flexible cast for 4-5 women or 1-2 men or 6 women


Cast of Characters

BRENDA: An actress who has a chance at being famous.

HEATHER: Brenda's slightly ditsy friend who takes her to see Mooch.

MOOCH: A fortune teller who is having an insightful day.JOE: An angry customer of Mooch's who didn't like her prediction.

GINA: Brenda's agent.

BARRY: A movie scout.

There is also the Voice of Reporter that can be prerecorded.

Time and Place
Present day psychic reading parlor.

[pic]
Scene 1

(Front room of Madame Mooch's Mystery Readings and Message Parlor. BRENDA waits impatiently alone. HEATHER appears from acurtained area)

BRENDA
This is so stupid... can we go now? It's Saturday night and there's other places I'd rather be...

HEATHER
(Rushes in UC from curtains)
You'll never guess who she said I was in one of my past lives.

BRENDA
Let's see. Cleopatra?

HEATHER
How did you know?

BRENDA
Psychic's always say women were Cleopatra... For some reason, everyone wantsto be her. Personally, I'd rather have been someone longer lived. What a way to go. Snake bite to the breast. Ouch.

HEATHER
You don't think it's true?

BRENDA
Heather, these people aren't for real. Don't you read the disclaimers?
(Holds up brochure)
For entertainment purposes only.

HEATHER
She seems so real... so convincing...

MOOCH
(Enters from curtainedarea)
Oh, sorry. I didn't know anyone was still here?

BRENDA
Yeah, she's real perceptive.

MOOCH
(Ties up curtains so audience can now see a table with a crystal ball on top and two chairs)
Does you friend want a reading?

HEATHER
Yes!

BRENDA
No!

HEATHER
Come on, Brenda. I'll pay for it.

BRENDA
Don't waste your money.

HEATHERIt's just for fun. You said it yourself: for entertainment purposes only. What do you have to fear?

BRENDA
Fear itself?

MOOCH
Come, come. I won't bite.

BRENDA
Yeah, but I might.

HEATHER
There, I paid for it.
(Gives MOOCH money)

MOOCH
(Holds bill up to light)
I feel my power returning to me.

BRENDA
The power of the U.S. Mint.HEATHER
Go on.

BRENDA
(Goes UC)
Fine, let's get this over with.

MOOCH
(Starts to close curtain)
The spirits come to me.

BRENDA
Leave the curtain open. I want witnesses.

HEATHER
You sure you want me to watch. It gets kind of private.
(Sits in a nearby waiting room chair)

BRENDA
Private? Then I definitely want you to watch.
(Sits in chair bycrystal ball)

MOOCH
(Sits in other chair)
So what do you want to know?

BRENDA
The quickest way out of here.

HEATHER
Don't be difficult, Brenda. Try to have fun with it.

BRENDA
Fine. What are this week's winning lottery numbers?

MOOCH
3-5-9-20-25-49 and the Powerball is...
(Draws card from Taro deck)
7.

BRENDA
Pretty specific.HEATHER
(Writes the numbers down)
Why didn't I think to ask that?

BRENDA
What else do you see in the cards?

MOOCH
(Draws more cards)
I see your past and your future.

BRENDA
Let me guess. I was Cleopatra too. How is it possible for so many people to be Cleopatra? I know... maybe she had a split personality.

MOOCH
I'm afraid in your past you were nobody famous.BRENDA
(Surprisingly disappointed)
Nobody? Ever?

MOOCH
Never ever.

BRENDA
What about my future?

MOOCH
You will be famous one day.

BRENDA
Now or in a future life.

MOOCH
Would you like to be famous in this life?

BRENDA
What do you mean?

MOOCH
In everyone's life cycles, they are allowed one time to be famous.

BRENDA...