Feedcback On Stuff

Student: Ankun Feng
TA: Morgan
Feedback on Images of Leadership Writing Assignment
Dear Andy F,
I really enjoyed reading your essay and getting to learn a little bit more about what factorsof leadership are important to you as an individual. Overall you did a very good job, and it is my hope that you carefully consider the feedback so that you can continue to improve your writingthroughout the semester.
I’m excited to have the opportunity to get to know you more next weekend through coffee chats! Until then, as always, if you have questions please don’t hesitate tocontact me.
Best,
Morgan
Please Note: You did receive the full 2 points for this assignment. The points mentioned in brackets below are designed to give you a sense of (1) the criteria we willbe using to evaluate future assignments in Management 100 (ie. the Individual Case Analysis and Status Reports) and (2) how you would have scored had we been using these criteria to assignpoints to your IOL Essay.
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Critical Thinking[1 point]

1. This essay provides a thesis upfront for why this image captures the essence of leadership for the student.
The sentence “Leadership goes beyond having subordinates… tostand out from the crowd” is an upfront thesis statement and includes specific qualities to say what about this image represents leadership for you. Good job!
2. This essay follows one cohesivethought process throughout.
This essay follows three clearly stated qualities of leadership – curiosity/knowledge, courage, and vision. While the essay is very coherent and the thought processis streamlined, you could improve the strength of your argument in a short essay by choosing one factor of leadership and develop that claim in more depth and detail throughout.
Evidence...