Hogwarts

50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".
No matter how good a fakeAustralian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology"."I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.
I will not go to class skyclad.
The Giant Squid is not an appropriatedate to the Yule Ball.
I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".
I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
Polishing my wand in the commonroom is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.
If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
House elves are notacceptable replacements for Bludgers.
Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
I will notstart every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
Adding the name "Bueller" to Professor Binns' roster is not funny.
"Springtime forVoldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".
I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".
I will not refer to the Patiltwins as "bookends".
The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror."
It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "Once you go Black, you never go back."
I will notcall Lucius Malfoy "Jareth".
I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".
I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a...