Ingles

FRED | I’ll get it.   |
DOT | Ooooh! I think it's for me. Tell him I'll be there in a sec. |
TOM | Tell her I'm busy. Ask her to leave her number.   |
FRED | Dad, can I use the... the car tonight? |
TOM | (imitating DAD) No.   |
FRED | Would you be quiet?   |
TOM | You’ll see... "No."   |
FRED | Don't put ideas in his head... Dad, can I have the car tonight?   |
DAD | Uhmmm?   |FRED | I said, "Can I use the car tonight?"   |
DAD | May I...   |
FRED | Okay. May I?   |
DAD | May you what?   |
FRED | You mean you really didn't hear anything I said except "Can I"?   |
DOT | Haven't you heard of the generation gap? They turn us off.   |
DAD | Not as often as you turn us off.   |
FRED | You heard that, and she wasn't even talking to you! Why don't you hear me?  |

DOT | It's your deep voice. It doesn't carry.   |
TOM | It won't carry through that scratching you're making with that nail file.   |
DOT | At least I don't bite my nails... like some people do.   |
TOM | (imitating nail-file noise) Grrgh-grrgh-grrgh. I can't even do my homework. |
FRED | Would you two cut it out? I'm trying to reach Dad. Dad?  |
DAD | Uhmmm?   |
FRED |Da-a-a-d... Dad, give us a sign you're listening: one rap for Yes ... two for No. |
DAD | O-o-okay, you got through. What is it?   |
FRED | Whew! Dad, may I use the car tonight?   |
DAD | No.   |
FRED | Wait!! Don't hang up! I'm not finished.   |
TOM | I told you so.   |
| (MOTHER enters and listens to this bit of dialogue)  |
FRED | Back to your books, Einstein. |
MOTHER | Fred, I've toldyou about that. Rather than tease Tom, you'd better do a little studying yourself.   |
DOT | Do you like this color, Mother? (shows her fingernails).   |
MOTHER | You shouldn't do your nails in the living room, dear. They should only be done in the privacy of one's boudoir.    |
DOT | (simultaneously with her mother's words; she has heard them so often that she knows them by heart) ... in theprivacy of one's boudoir.   |
MOTHER | Yes. And, Tom, why don't you study in your room?   |
TOM | This is where the action is; it's too quiet up there.    |
DOT | Mother. You didn't answer me. Do you like this color?   |
MOTHER | Very pretty.    |
DOT | It's new... a special color for this month: Passion Pink.   |
TOM | (imitating the girls in TV commercials) "And my hair color is specialthis month: Blatant Black."   |
DOT | Oh, you’re so funny... Ha, ha, ha...   |

MOTHER | By the way, where was all that help I was going to have in the kitchen with the dishes?   |
TOM | Uh... I had to do my homework.    |
DOT | And my nails.   |
FRED | I've been trying to talk to Dad.    |
MOTHER | You kids are really great at finding excuses. Homework isn't so urgent when the Rolling Stonesare on TV, and nails can stop when there's someone to gossip with on the phone.  |
| (Slight pause, then TOM pokes MOTHER's back).  |
TOM | What about Fred? Why don't you attack him?   |
MOTHER | Well... when a son wants to talk to his father, that's important.   |
FRED | I thought so, too.   |
MOTHER | What did you two talk about? |
FRED | Nothing.   |
MOTHER | Nothing?   |
FRED | Hesaid about ten words. I can’t crash the newspaper barrier.   |
MOTHER | Paul?  |
| (DAD puts his paper down immediately. He has been well trained by MOTHER to listen to her when she speaks).  |
DAD | Yes, dear?   |
TOM | That's training!    |
MOTHER | (to TOM) Do you want to leave the room? (TOM shakes his head "No") Then behave yourself.   |
DAD | Yes, dear? You wanted me?   |
MOTHER |No, Paul. Fred wanted to talk to you.   |
DAD | Oh, that... (he starts reading the newspaper again)   |
FRED | (turns back to MOTHER) You see! That! He refers to me as “that"!   |

MOTHER | Don't get so upset. He's tired. Paul?   |
DAD | (paper down) Yes, dear? |
MOTHER | (signaling FRED to go to DAD) Now, go ahead.   |
FRED | Dad, may I ...   |
DAD | No.   |

FRED | Wait. (to...