Ingles

English is a Stupid Language!

Let’s face it, English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant.
No ham in thehamburger.
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
French fries were not invented inFrance.

We sometimes take English for granted.
But if we examine its paradoxes--
We find that Quicksand takes you down slowly.Boxing rings are square.
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
And,if the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacherpraught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
And, how can people recite at a play,
Yet play ata recital?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And where you fillin a form, by filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflectsthe creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible
Butwhen the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch, it starts
But when I wind up this poem, it ends.