La dama de negro

Hola,

This is the moment when I need a hug… but from people who care and that I trust to… I’m sad and feeling like a pice of rubbish… I know that the decision is always on my hands, and thatleaving from here is something I REALLY want to and that also coming for this Visa is something that I decided because few things will make me happier than that Cruise. However, every time I leave myfamily something breaks inside my heart.

See my Mom and brother crying and happy at the same time because I’m leaving is one of the weirdest feelings ever…

Now, I’m sitting here at the plane… and Iwish you where here to be able to share how am I feeling…

We know you might not be able to fix anything but just knowing you’re listening will make me feel beter. Is like when I told you in themorning what happenend about not checking Miami’s flight before… duhh! That and this is something I can’t tell them… telling my family will reduce their trust on me and I can’t afford that. My familyrespect me and looks at me like a heroine, I really can’t do it.

But with you is different, you’re a person that knows me good enough and that I feel like an equal, so this mistakes make no differencefor me. I like when you see my real me, behind the knowledge, the experience and the fine apperance, to see me like nobody is allowed to. And you know what… I guess that God bothers on me because heknows I love myself and that’s all what he needs to always help me.

What happens is this, some time ago I read in a book, about people that after living in different places experience a rootlessfeeling… is like not belonging to any place at all. And that’s what I’m feeling, I don’t belong to Mexico anymore and that’s sad because even if I’m proud of being Mexican I don’t belong here but eitherto any other place anyways…

Some Psychology theory says (please try to do not fall asleep :D) that this feeling is the reason why I reject the rest of the people and, at the same time, I get so...