Maestro

R-E-S-P-E-C-T is how Men spell Love
Sarah Elizabeth Malinak, M. Div.
I got a phone call this week from a woman whose relationship was falling apart. It had
been fading for a long time and likelydidn’t have the potential to be re-birthed. She
wanted a magic cure for it. I worked with her from her perspective of trying to save it
and towards the end of an hour long conversation, we got to thenuts and bolts of what
had likely gone wrong; which was also the thing that could bring the relationship back to
life.
What had gone wrong was within a couple of years of their relationship, shestopped
respecting her man. When you stop respecting someone, there is no neutral. No respect
results in words and behavior that communicate disrespect. Disrespect from his woman
will tear at aman’s love for her. If they don’t catch the problem and fix it, that disrespect
will ruin the relationship.
As I coached her to share respect in verbal and physical ways, I faced a challenge I
alwaysface whenever I have this conversation with a disrespecting woman. I said to her,
“Men are just fine as they are. They don’t need to be fixed or improved. The way they
are, the way they handlethemselves, is perfectly fine.”
She interrupted me at that point and said, “For them,” meaning men are only perfectly
fine just the way they are in the company of other men but not in the company of women.There is the rub. There is the disrespect that makes a man walk away. It is subtle and
insidious.
Nothing says “I love and adore you,” to a man quite like verbalizing and showing your
respect ofhim. Remember or imagine what it is or would be like when your fellow says,
“I love and adore you!” It nurtures you, feeds you, and improves the relationship. In the
exact same way, that is how a manexperiences the words, “I respect you.”
I have to be honest, though. It isn’t easy for a woman to express her respect for a man
either verbally or through her actions. I don’t know why it isn’t...