Mentirologo Profesional

How To Be A Lying NiNjA!

Yet another sexy little text file brought to you by Rusty and The Italic
Squirrels. Written by Suid Lizard and Rhesus Monkey, edited by Captain Ross.

This text file was written for entertainment purposes only. Just because
somebody reads this text does not mean that they should try anything in it. This
file does not, nor does it's authors, advocate thetelling of lies, or anything
like that. Even though you shouldn't try this, but you do anyway, it isn't our
fault if you get busted. Maybe it was YOUR mistake that got you screwed. Maybe
the simple facts of your lie screwed you up, maybe you're just an idiot, maybe
this whole text file is a load of bullshit. You just don't know, so don't try
this until you've done some research in this sort ofthing. Don't do drugs.
Don't break the law. Don't wear dead elephants as hats. Don't do anything you
wouldn't want your grandmother to do. Don't do anything.

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By reading further into this text you certify that you are not a law enforcement
officer, an employee of the federal government, or an acquaintance of anemployee of the federal government, or even an acquaintance of an acquaintance
of an employee of the federal government. You certify that you are not Suid
Lizard or Captain Ross's mom, or anyone else's mom. You certify that you are not
under 18 years of age. You certify that you are not over 18 years of age. You
certify that you are not 18 years of age. If any or all of the abovestatements
does not apply to you, then do not read further into this file, delete it if it
happens to be on your hard or floppy disks, and leave whatever site or BBS or
whatever it is you downloaded it from.

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Well, now that I've excluded about 99.9% of the population, all that should be
left are super intelligent cyborgsfrom the future, spider monkeys, and contract
violators who have let go of all their rights concerning this file.

So you wanna learn to lie, eh? Well, before you can learn that you have to learn
to spot a liar, which is easier than you think. Certain behaviors, things you
don't mean to do, give away liars. These can be movements, or biological
signals. Mainly, I'm gonna deal with thephysical gestures and such, things that
you don't have to be hooked up to a machine to detect.

Liars, especially when caught off guard, don't have real memories to refer to,
and have to rely on their imaginations to fall back on. Without actual
experience dictating the story, it becomes almost impossible to keep track of
all the details that may be said. That's why in an interrogation adetective (or
whoever) will ask the same questions again and again, in hopes of finding a slip
up. They may ask about details, things like "what color was her shirt?" in hopes
that the suspect's story won't be consistent. The specifics of a story may be
vague when it is first told, which is a fairly reliable indicator of the truth.

So what can a liar do to avoid these pitfalls? Simplyuse real memories as a
reference. If you say you were meeting some friends, then think of a past
occasion when you met with friends. Now, when your asked the color of her shirt,
it will be white (or whatever) every time, because that's what you remember it
as being.

Another problem is witnesses. A liar may try to get his story straight with all
of the people present, but that's bound tofail. Say you went Somehood (mystery
city) last night, to go meet some chicks at the deli and get laid. Only trouble
is, your grounded that week. Your mom asks you where you went! Quick, what do
you say? The secret is to make as little of your story a lie as possible. Tell
her that you were at the deli in Somehood, studying with Jacob (or whoever was
there). Now, if your mom calls...