Mother

The bulk of my life consists of chasing after my toddler, scrubbing scribbles off walls, changing poopy diapers,and praying until it hurtsevery time my son is sick or hurt.. I dont identify with most people my age nor do i desire to. I'm misunderstood more often than understood and Inever have the patience to explain myself to anyone. I think I've lost a lot of people that truly care for me because of my stubborness, butthat's okay, I think one day I will find someone who is just as stubborn as me and we can fight and fight and fight until we both give in to oneanother. I push people away when I realize I'm starting to care for them more than I'm comfortable with, if you love me, fight back, don't letyourself be pushed... I promise you it isn't what I really want. I used to think commitment is what I wanted, but I've recently come to therealization that I am afraid of commitment. I am afraid of that exclusiveness that comes from being with just one person...So instead of letting go andgiving my all to the one I care for, I chew them up and spit them back out so I can feel as if I'm in control of something again.. I know how Igot this way, but I don't know how to fix myself. What I need most is someone to stand beside me, grab my hand, and come along for the ridealthough it will entail some bumps and bruises along the way...Just have patience,love me..and I swear your efforts will pay off, eventually. ......