Narcisissm And Relatiopnships

Narcissism and Relationships

Narcissism is a personality disorder on which a person feels like they are better than others and do not care for the feelings and needs of other people. They think they deserve constant admiration from those around them. They do not like to be criticized in any way.

But, how does this disorder affects the narcissists love relationships? How does it affecthis/her relationships with others? How does it affect him/herself?

On an article published in Oprah Magazine (January 2008), it refers to narcissism as follows:

….This is the answer for the most emotionally, verbally, abusive relationships, a serious personality disorder, that can not be fixed.

Narcissists expect and demand that the ones nearest and dearest to them, tolerate, admire, love,and cater to their needs. They expect others to be at their immediate disposal. They are selfish and indifferent, and know that they are. Narcissists test the mental limits of people’s patience. Individuals in a relationship with a narcissist feel something is not "quite right," and many seek answers to the unsettling experience of day to day life with a narcissist….

In terms of family andfriends,narcissistic individuals often “openly attack” those closer to them, the ones they know will always be there like friends and family. In his book, “Malignant Self Love”, Dr. Sam Valkin describes how a narcissist operates.

He explains how this type of person, first treats you like you were a king or a queen, making you feel like you are above everything, and giving you a sense of belongingnever experienced by you. Once they know you are there is like you were trapped in their web. They start minimizing your self esteem and start showing the behavior mentioned above. Family and friends get confused by the behavior because is hard to believe that someone who treated them so nice, now is completely the opposite. However, this confusion comes with the time, because once the narcissistknows you are in their web, they start being demanding and people around them do whatever it takes to please them. When you can not do the things they want you to do, they start treating you like you were useless and start attacking your self esteem. Dr. Valkin also makes reference to the tendency of a narcissist to lie. In fact he refers to them as “compulsive liars’’, and is not unusual for them tobe promiscuous, making marriages almost impossible to hold.

At the work place, narcissists, often exaggerates on their accomplishments and usually assume a defensive posture. In meetings they tend to pull the credit to their side and faults to whoever they do not like, but they do it in a “stealth” kind of way, or at least, they think they do. The fact is that this strategy works more timesthan it does not.

Fellow co-workers try to avoid contact with this type of person, once identified, but the narcissists will always find “followers” to fall under their “charms’’ and to cater their needs. If the narcissists are in a leadership positions, his subordinates will have a hard time adjusting to his style of leadership, and is usual that employees working under them often resign orrequest transfers. But again, they will always find loyal followers that will praise their work and put up with their, somehow abusive behavior.

When it comes to dealing with themselves, narcissists are aware of what they are. They know they are abusive, they know they lie, they know they hurt people, they know their wrong. In fact, one of the characteristics of the narcissists is that they have avery low self esteem. In order to hide it, they need to be admired and praise all the time, this needs are referred by the Mayo Clinic Website as ‘’Narcissistic Supply”. They are always in search of this narcissistic supply. That is one of the reason why they are promiscuous and liars. If caught in a lie, they burst out on rage attacks, and never assume responsibilities for their actions, trying...