Sketch

THE ALMOST DEAD

CHARACTERS:
George
Kate (George’s wife)
Sasha (George’s sister)
Morgue’s driver
Morgue’s owner
Morgue’s employee
Police officer

SCREENPLAY:

ACT 1 - IN KATE’S HOUSE

(Kate, George and Sasha are in the dining room)

Kate: How was the work, honey?

George: It was terrible, I’m tired!

Sasha: You many hours. Why don’t you quit and find another work?Kate: No! He can’t… we have to pay the mortgage of the house because if we don’t, we’re gonna lose it!

Sasha: Sorry, I didn’t know. (Looks at George) Are you okay?

Kate: George, you look very pale!

George: I’m very tired, that’s all. I just need to take a pill for my headache and get some sleep; and I’ll be fine.

Kate: Okay, honey.

(George stands up, opens a pill bottle, takes apill and passes out)

Kate: George, George!

(Sasha stands up and knees near George)

Sasha: Oh my Gosh!

Kate: (Slaps him) Don’t be funny, George!

(Kate slaps George again. Sasha checks his pulse and hears his heart beats)

Sasha: Kate, I think he’s dead.

Kate: Dead? It can’t be! Come on, wake up! (Slaps George again) You can’t do this to me! Please wake up!

Sasha: He’s notbreathing, he’s totally dead!

Kate: So, he can’t be partially dead?

Sasha: No! He’s TOTALLY dead! D-E-A-D. Dead.

Kate: (starts crying) what am I gonna do without you?

(Sasha stands up)

Sasha: I’m gonna call the morgue.

Kate: No! Call the doctor!

Sasha: What for? The doctor won’t resuscitate him. George is already in heaven!

Kate: George, I will always love you!

(Sashapicks up the phone and call the morgue)

Kate: What did they tell you?

Sasha: That they’ll be here in 5 minutes.

Kate: (says to George) you will never ever wear your favorite t-shirt again, you will never have another birthday cake, you will never play baseball, you will never drive your car again, you will never…

Sasha: Please, stop!

(Someone knocks the door, Sasha goes to open)Morgue’s employee: Is this 423 Mandela Street?

Sasha: Yes, it is

Morgue’s employee: We’re here to pick up the body

Sasha: Come in and follow me.

(The driver and the employee follow Sasha to the dining room. They knee near George)

Morgue’s employee: I have to check him (checks the pulse) No signals.

(Kate and Sasha cry louder)

(The employee covers the body with a sheet, puts himon a stretcher and leaves the scene)

ACT II – IN THE MORGUE

(George lays down on a steel table in the “Refrigeration Room”, with another two bodies. In another room the employee is using a computer and the driver is reading the paper news. George opens his eyes.)

George: Brrr. It’s so cold in here. Kate, please turn off the air conditioning, (waits a few minutes). Kate, didn’t you hearme? (Silence) Alright! I’ll do it. (Stands up and walks around the room) It’s very dark, I can’t see anything, I’m gonna turn on the lights. (looks for the switch but he doesn’t find it) Where’s the switch? (touches everything around him. Touch a man’s feet) What is this? I think it’s a feet, a very cold feet. But it’s not Kate’s; it’s someone else’s feet! Where am I? (Starts to scream) Kate!Kate!

Morgue’s employee: Did you hear something?

Morgue’s driver: No

(George keeps screaming and tries to open the door)

George: Help me! Help me!

Morgue’s driver: You’re right! I heard something!

Morgue’s employee: Shut up! Let me hear

(George keeps screaming)

George: Help me! Get me out of here!

Morgue’s driver: (Terrified) I think, I think it’s a ghost!

(Themorgue’s owner enter the scene)

Morgue’s owner: Why are you making so much noise?

Morgue’s driver: We’re not. It comes from the refrigeration room.

Morgue’s owner: That’s impossible!

(George keeps screaming)

Morgue’s driver: I told you! It’s a ghost!

Morgue’s employee: This place is haunted! Let’s get out of here!

Morgue’s owner: Wait! Maybe someone’s playing us a joke. I’m...