The Bald Soprano Script ( Not Mine)

This document was not wrighten by me it was writen by Eugene Ionesco

The Characters:
MR. SMITH
MRS. SMITH
MR. MARTIN
MRS. MARTIN
MARY, the maid
THE FIRE CHIEF________________________________________
SCENE: A middle-class English interior, with English armchairs. An English evening. Mr. Smith, an Englishman, seated in his English armchair and wearing English slippers, issmoking his English pipe and reading an English newspaper, near an English fire. He is wearing English spectacles and a small gray English mustache. Beside him, in another English armchair, Mrs. Smith, anEnglishwoman, is darning some English socks. A long moment of English silence. The English clock strikes 17 English strokes.
MRS. SMITH: There, it's nine o'clock. We've drunk the soup, and eaten thefish and chips, and the English salad. The children have drunk English water. We've eaten well this evening. That's because we live in the suburbs of London and because our name is Smith.
MR. SMITH[continues to read, clicks his toungue.]
MRS. SMITH: Potatoes are very good fried in fat; the salad oil was not rancid. The oil from the grocer at the corner is better quality than the oil from thegrocer across the street. It is even better than the oil from the grocer at the bottom of the street. However, I prefer not to tell them that their oil is bad.
MR. SMITH [continues to read, clickshis tongue.]
MRS. SMITH: However, the oil from the grocer at the corner is still the best.
MR. SMITH [continues to read, clicks his tongue.]
MRS. SMITH: Mary did the potatoes very well, thisevening. The last time she did not do them well. I do not like them when they are well done.
MR. SMITH [continues to read, clicks his tongue.]
MRS. SMITH: The fish was fresh. It made my mouth water. Ihad two helpings. No, three helpings. That made me go to the w.c. You also had three helpings. However, the third time you took less than the first two times, while as for me, I took a great deal...