The Disadvantages Of Having An Elite Education

EN101A
Take-Home Essay Grade Sheet

Essay #2
Instructor: Dyon Stefanon Student: Jherita Orlandini
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(Letter) | A | B | C | | D | | | | F | | | | |

The grade you received on this essay is: D

Guide to instructor’s comments (with examples)

* Text highlighted in yellow is the object of a comment. The comment itself will be in red type, surrounded by red brackets. (ex.: We went to the grossery[spelling] store.)
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* If a whole sentence orparagraph is the object of a comment, the comment will be preceded by a red brace. (ex: We went to the grocery store.}[why do you tell us this? Is it important?] )
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Description of the Audience:
The audience of this essay is, especially, parents that want their children to go to an Ivy League, and students who are trying to get into one of these prestigious Universities/Colleges. This audience is different from thatof In-Class Essay #2 in the way that, in the this one, I am talking directly to parents, to make them know that is not always good to go to a prestigious Universities because they give their students a false or wrong sense of self-worth.
Statement of the Essay’s Thesis:
The thesis talks about the disadvantages that “Elite” Education have over students.
Outline:
Disadvantages of an eliteeducation.
I. Introduction
A. Prestigious Universities such as Yale
1. Quality
2. Admittance
II. Elite Education
A. Money
1. High income
B. Education
1. Wrong sense of self-worth
C. Deresiewicz
1. Article (own experience)
D. Downsides of the Ivy League
III. Disadvantage
A. Communication with other people
B. Rachel Toor
1. ‘‘God and Jerkat Yale’’
IV. Disadvantage
A. SAT, GPA, GRE
1. Wrong sense of self-worth
B. Deresiewicz
1. Article
V. Conclusion

Changes Made:
The In-Class essay #2 was a summary of what the author William Deresiewicz said. In this one, I put other ideas, adding information from other sources. The thesis is written different but with the same approach. The main disadvantage of thisessay is the wrong sense of self-worth, which is the focus of the essay.

Jherita Orlandini
Prof. Dyon Stefanon
EN101A
April 9th, 2012

The Disadvantages of Having An Elite Education
Since ever, parents have chosen to give the best education possible to their children. However, many of them think that giving a good education means sending them to universities that are expensive and...