Tucker max

I HOPE
THEY SERVE BEER
IN HELL

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I HOPE
THEY SERVE BEER
IN HELL

TUCKER MAX

CITADEL PRESS
Kensington Publishing Corp.
www.kensingtonbooks.com
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CITADEL PRESS BOOKS are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
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New York, NY 10022
Copyright © 2006 Tucker Max
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by
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CITADEL PRESS and the Citadel logo are Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.
First printing: January 2006
10 9 8 7 6
Printed in the United States of America
Library of Congress Control Number: 2005934008
ISBN 0-8065-2728-5iii

CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS......................................................................................................... vi
AUTHOR’S NOTE .................................................................................................................viii

TUCKER MAX STORIES
THE FAMOUS SUSHI PANTS STORY.................................................................................. 1
THE NIGHT WE ALMOST DIED ........................................................................................... 7
THE BLOW&JOB FOLLIES .................................................................................................. 20
EVERYONE HAS "THAT" FRIEND ..................................................................................... 26
TUCKER FUCKS A FATGIRL; HILARITY ENSUES ........................................................ 45
THE NOW INFAMOUS TUCKER MAX CHARITY AUCTION DEBACLE ..................... 52
QUITE THE VACATION ....................................................................................................... 65
TUCKER GOES TOVEGAS.................................................................................................. 68
FLOSS...................................................................................................................................... 84
THE FOXFIELD WEEKEND ................................................................................................. 86
THE AUSTIN ROAD TRIP ....................................................................................................96
MY KEY WEST TRIP........................................................................................................... 131
GIRL BEATS TUCKER AT HIS OWN GAME................................................................... 134
TUCKER TRIES BUTTSEX; HILARITY DOES NOT ENSUE ......................................... 140
THIS'LL JUST HURT A LITTLE......................................................................................... 147
THE UT WEEKEND ............................................................................................................. 152
THE PEE BLAME ................................................................................................................. 163
TUCKER GOES TO A HOCKEYGAME............................................................................ 167
THE ABSINTHE DONUTS STORY .................................................................................... 173
THE MOST DISTURBING CONVERSATION EVER ....................................................... 185
SHE WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER....................................................................... 194

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TUCKER RUPTURES HIS APPENDIX...