Social Intelligence

SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE
THE REVOLUTONARY NEW SCIENCE OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS





Edward Thorndike – 1920
Thorndike noted that such interpersonal effectiveness was of vital importance for succes in many fields, particularly leadershi. “ the best mechanic in a factory, may fail as a foreman for lack of social intelligence.”









Now, Social intelligence has become ripe forrethinking as neuroscience begins to map the brain areas that regulate interpersonal dynamics
Richard Davidson
“All emotions are social”

You cant separate the cause of an emotion from the world of relationship – our social interactions are what drive our emotions.

SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE

* Social Awareness
* Social Facility

PRIMAL EMPATHY
ATTUNEMENT

SOCIAL AWARENESSSocial Awareness refers to a spectrum that runs from instantaneously sensing another’s inner state, to understanding her feelings and thoughts, to “getting” complicated social situations



SOCIAL COGNITION
EMPATHIC ACCURACY

PRIMAL EMPATHY

* Feeling with others
* Sensing non-verbal emotional signals

* An apt test of primal empathy would assess the low road’s rapid, spontaneousreading of thee non-verbal clues. To do that well, such a test must have us react to a depiction of another person.
* Ability to sense the emotions of another
* We can stop talking, but we cannot stop sending signals about what we feel

ATTUNEMENT

* Listening with full receptivity
* Attuing to a person.

* Is attention that goes beyond momentary empathy to a full,sustained presence that facilitates rapport.
* We offer a person our total attention and listen fully.
* We seek to understand the other person rather than just making our own point

* Is attention that goes beyond momentary empathy to a full, sustained presence that facilitates rapport.
* We offer a person our total attention and listen fully.
* We seek to understand the otherperson rather than just making our own point

* Talking at a person rather than listening to him reduces a conversation to a monologue.
* When i hijack a conversation by talking at you, i fulfilling my needs without considering yours. Real listening in contrast, requires me to attune to your feelings, let you have your say, and allow the conversation to follow a course we mutuallydetermine.

* Genuine connection: What we say will be responsive to what the other feels, say and does.
* Poorly connection: Our mesage does not change to fit the other person’s state but simply reflects our own.
* Listening makes the difference.

EMPATHIC ACCURACY

* Undersanding another person’s thoughts, feelings and intentions.

* Conscious awareness of someone’s intentionsallows for more accurate epathy, so we can better predict what that person will do.
* A more explicit understanding of underlying motives can mean the difference between life and death. Example: we are face to face with a mugger
* Empathic accuracy represents, some argue, the essential expertise in social intelligence.
* This ability distinguishe:
* the most tactufuladvisors
* the most effective negotiators
* the most electable politicians
* the most successful teachers

SOCIAL COGNITION

* Is knowledge bout how the social world actually works
* One way social cognition can manifest is in the ability to find solutions to social dilemmas such as how to seat rivals at a dinner party or how to make friends fter moving to a new city* Gather the relevant information and think through solutions most clearly.
* Knowing how the social world works.
* With poor social cognition, we may fail to recognize why someone seems embarrassed or that someone’s offhand cmment will be taken as a slight by a third party
* The social awareness ability interact: empathic accuracy builds on listening and primal empathy; all three...