Cine Prado De Elena Poniatowska
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Publicado: 11 de febrero de 2013
fernanda arroyo
Dr. Mulholland
English 1302:02
20 October 2011
Peer Craft Critique Group A draft 1: “Culture Assimilation “by Fernanda Arroyo
Fernanda Arroyo’s essay “CultureAssimilations,” is about how she had to adapt living in a different country, and having to learn a different language. Arroyo mentions in her essay how she felt the first day of school.The author describes that day as being the end of the world, and how in shock she was, all she wanted to do was to go back with her family. She also The overall theme of this essay is todescribe culture assimilation, and how complicated it can be at first, but once you get comfortable it can turn out to be the best thing in the world, she describes herself in her essayas being the happiest girl in the world. She comments in her essay how as the days passed by she got involved in different activities, and was elected to be in National Honor Society.The authors voice is somehow strong she gives good examples to make her point. Point of view is working although she needs more development in dialogue and description. The author needs togive more detail of the differences of the cultures, and describe the difference between them. Although she dose states in her essay how amazing it is when being able to know thedifference between an American person, and a non-American just by looking at them or just by hearing them speak. The style that the author points out is about adapting and describing howdifferent cultures can be.
The element that need more work is description and dialoge. The author needs more description to grab the reader’s attention. For example she needs to compare hernew home, school, and friends.
The suggestions I would give the author is to explain how her parents deal with her being away from home, and if she would ever go back to her country.
Dr. Mulholland
English 1302:02
20 October 2011
Peer Craft Critique Group A draft 1: “Culture Assimilation “by Fernanda Arroyo
Fernanda Arroyo’s essay “CultureAssimilations,” is about how she had to adapt living in a different country, and having to learn a different language. Arroyo mentions in her essay how she felt the first day of school.The author describes that day as being the end of the world, and how in shock she was, all she wanted to do was to go back with her family. She also The overall theme of this essay is todescribe culture assimilation, and how complicated it can be at first, but once you get comfortable it can turn out to be the best thing in the world, she describes herself in her essayas being the happiest girl in the world. She comments in her essay how as the days passed by she got involved in different activities, and was elected to be in National Honor Society.The authors voice is somehow strong she gives good examples to make her point. Point of view is working although she needs more development in dialogue and description. The author needs togive more detail of the differences of the cultures, and describe the difference between them. Although she dose states in her essay how amazing it is when being able to know thedifference between an American person, and a non-American just by looking at them or just by hearing them speak. The style that the author points out is about adapting and describing howdifferent cultures can be.
The element that need more work is description and dialoge. The author needs more description to grab the reader’s attention. For example she needs to compare hernew home, school, and friends.
The suggestions I would give the author is to explain how her parents deal with her being away from home, and if she would ever go back to her country.
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