Family Therapy Techniques

Differentiation of self
Differentiation of self is the ability of separating one’s feelings and thoughts from that of the family meaning that you are able to have different opinions than members of your family, but despite of this being able to stay emotionally connected to them.
Well differentiated people do not rely on other’s acceptance or approval, even when met with criticism, rejectionor disapproval they can stay calm and rationally asses the facts and think before they react and not be driven by emotion.
People who are poorly differentiated cannot separate emotionally when asked to think rationally they are bombarded with feelings, and find it difficult to think logically. Low differentiated people depend highly on other family members for approval and acceptance, they eitherforce their views on others or easily agree with their. This behaviour ,makes one more open to stress and problems with adaptation to changes in their lives.



Emotional triangles
Triangles are the basic units of systems. Triangles usually have 2 individuals in conflict, and another person uninvolved with the conflict is brought in by one of them to minimize the tension between the two. Thetwo individuals are on the inside of the triangle, whereas other person is on the outside. During times of calm insiders are comfortable together and the outsider is kept out of this dyad, and he is continuasly working to become close to one of them and in so doing taking their place as an insider and making him an outsider. The insider and outsider positions of this triangle are not fixed theexcluded insider may become the new outsider and the original outsider an insider.
Nuclear family emotional process

The concept of the nuclear family emotional system describes four basic relationship patterns that govern where problems develop in a family. People's attitudes and beliefs about relationships play a role in the patterns, but the forces primarily driving them are part of theemotional system. The patterns operate in intact, single-parent, step-parent, and other nuclear family configurations.
Clinical problems or symptoms usually develop during periods of heightened and prolonged family tension. The level of tension depends on the stress a family encounters, how a family adapts to the stress, and on a family's connection with extended family and social networks. Tensionincreases the activity of one or more of the four relationship patterns. Where symptoms develop depends on which patterns are most active. The higher the tension, the more chance that symptoms will be severe and that several people will be symptomatic.
The four basic relationship patterns are:
Marital conflict- As family tension increases and the spouses get more anxious, each spouse externalizeshis or her anxiety into the marital relationship. Each focuses on what is wrong with the other, each tries to control the other, and each resists the other's efforts at control.
Dysfunction in one spouse- One spouse pressures the other to think and act in certain ways and the other yields to the pressure. Both spouses accommodate to preserve harmony, but one does more of it. The interaction iscomfortable for both people up to a point, but if family tension rises further, the subordinate spouse may yield so much self-control that his or her anxiety increases significantly. The anxiety fuels, if other necessary factors are present, the development of a psychiatric, medical, or social dysfunction.
Impairment of one or more children- The spouses focus their anxieties on one or more of theirchildren. They worry excessively and usually have an idealized or negative view of the child. The more the parents focus on the child the more the child focuses on them. He is more reactive than his siblings to the attitudes, needs, and expectations of the parents. The process undercuts the child's differentiation from the family and makes him vulnerable to act out or internalize family tensions....