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Revision of narrative essay

Passed the End Zone
The sight of the tall stadium lights, the rattle of my protective gear, the feel of the Astroturf, the taste of the 32 ounces of Gatorade, and the smell of fear, nervousness and sweat all add up to the glorious game of American football. There is no other physical joy than to play the sport in which you can go on a rampage and tackle anyone.Of course, there should always be a strategy and order in every sport. That’s where the coaches and the team work together, to come out victorious at the end of the day. Win or lose, you still had the chance to play and demonstrate your skills.
And it was back in 1999 when I was only 5 years old that I was demonstrating my abilities as a young athlete. I played T-ball at a nearby baseball league.But at school, I wasn’t able to play baseball with friends. I had to play basketball, volleyball, or football. Not on a team but as a past time during recess. Out of the three sports I was immediately dazzled by football.
As the years went on by I kept playing baseball on an official team and football at recess. At around the age of 10 or 11 I had to take a break from baseball. At this time, Itook music lessons but they didn’t fill that void that baseball had left in me. I felt like my soul was yanked out of me. And that’s when the opportunity of playing on a real football team arrived.
I was nervous at first because it was the first time I was going to try out for a real football team. All I could think of was hitting other people. The short ride from my house to the park becameeternal with all my worries. I kept on thinking to myself if I was able to play. What will the other kids think of me? Will I make a fool of myself? Who am I supposed to talk to? What if I get hurt? My self-esteem was killing me!
When I arrived at the park and saw the coach speaking to the players those darn butterflies in my stomach were acting up. As I got out of the car my knees were like arattlesnakes rattle. I immediately knew I wasn’t going to talk right. I knew my flaws inside and out. But my nervousness didn’t last long. A good friend of mine was on the team. And the coach was very nice and outgoing. I didn’t expect him to be so subtle.
The coach blew his whistle. That meant that the practice had started. “Let’s warm up”, he said. I didn’t know a warm up was four laps aroundthe football field. I never ran so much! Not even in my years in baseball. In my opinion, four laps was a marathon, one lap was more than enough. But I couldn’t tell that to the coach, he’d probably think I was a lazy punk and wouldn’t pick me for the team.
I started to run at a comfortable pace with the rest of my team. While I was running I talked to my good friend Ian. I asked him about theteam and how were the games. The uniform was also on my mind. But the most important question was about what should I do to get on the team? He just laughed and said, “Run”. And I obeyed I kept on running till I had finally given the football field 4 laps. I was pretty much flabbergasted. I thought football wasn’t so intense.
The worst was yet to come. The famous football exercises were up. Thecoach started us off with a 1 minute of sit ups, followed by a rest and then another minute of sit ups. We would change exercises every 2 sets. The second one was leg extensions. And the last abdominal exercise was the dreaded bicycles. They gave you pain in places you didn’t even know existed.
The football practice was just starting but at least the most difficult elements were out of the way.I was much more relaxed but the practice wasn’t done. I needed a 5 minute break. I hustled over to the benches to drink some Gatorade and cool down. At this time Ian presented me to some of the other players. I met John Strabelli who also went to school to me but had never talked to. I also met Gilbert Suarez which was the brother of my entire middle school crush.
Her name was Stephanie and...