La Vida Y Amor

Mireille Gaynor
12/15/11
Psyc 210- Rabinowitz


Life and Love: A Search for Meaning
“Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which a man can aspire” (Frankl). Although it is a difficult concept to define, love is an incredible part of the life of human beings and is necessary for their survival. As is stated in Lewis’s book, A General Theory of Love, “love meansprotection, caretaking, loyalty and sacrifice” (Lewis, 2001 p. 116). Although these are all important factors when it comes to loving someone or being loved, love goes beyond outward acts and reaches something deep inside the brains, hearts and souls of each of us.
The human need for love is seen first in infants, in their need for response to their emotions. According to Bowlby’s theory ofattachment, because babies when they are born have extremely limited motor ability, they rely on their mothers’ responsiveness and cry when their mothers stray (Lewis, 2001 p. 72). The mothers in response seek out their children, and it is in this way that babies form an attachment bond to their mothers. This need for human contact and attachment is a physiological need as important as food orwater for the developing human infant (Lewis, 2001 p. 70), as was demonstrated in Harry Harlow’s experiment in which young monkeys were given the choice between two surrogate mothers. One surrogate was a wiry figure with a bottle of milk, and the other was a terrycloth figure that did not offer milk. It was observed that the monkeys only stayed with the wiry mothers as long as they needed to feed, andthen returned to their warmer, more comforting surrogate mothers (Lewis, 2001 p. 72). A baby, if raised by good, responsive and nurturing parents, will also show his/her attachment when separated from his/her caretaker. The baby will protest and cry, but be comforted again when reunited with its caretaker. This bond that a human infant has with his caretaker is fascinating and one specific tomammals because of the presence of their limbic brains. The limbic brain is what separates mammals from other organisms and is the reason why humans take care of their young and form relationships with them, instead of abandoning them after birth as reptiles do (Lewis, 2001 p. 25).
The connection between mammals and their families is a fascinating one. I find it especially interesting inhumans, that even though a mother and her child may be extraordinarily different people, argue often, and have nothing in common apart from their genetic makeup, they are forever attached by a bond that was formed early on, and therefore, love each other regardless of their differences. It is often said that “your family will always be there for you no matter what happens”. Although this is not true insome circumstances, I know that it is in many. The difficulties that two family members experience due to their differences usually make their relationship stronger later. And although the way in which babies outwardly express their attachment to their caregivers does not usually continue throughout life, there are circumstances in which their attachment is seen. Lewis gives the example of peoplehugging each other upon arrival or departure. He describes how “the imposed separation, or the threat of one, reflexively makes people want to reestablish skin-to-skin contact” (Lewis, 2001 p.73). My mother and I are a great example of this unconditional love that exists in the bond between a mother and her child. As an adolescent girl, my mother and I, as is typical, often butt heads. Wedisagreed on just about everything and it has taken a while for us to come to terms with our differences. We still have our differences and over thanksgiving break we got into a big argument when she was driving me to the airport to go back to school. When we arrived at the terminal we had not yet resolved our issues, but I was running late and so I grabbed my bags out of the car and without a hug or...