Calidad

1.-A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." 
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?" 
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." 
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!" 
2.- Teacher:"Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?" 
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?" 
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!" 
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!" 3.- A: Why are you crying? 
B: The elephant is dead. 
A: Was he your pet? 
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave. 
4.- A teenage girl had been talking on the phonefor about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
5.-A teacher asked a student to write 55. 
Student asked: How? 
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! 
The student wrote 5 and stopped. 
teacher: What are you waitingfor? 
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5! 
6.- Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it. 
Waitress: Oh, that's okay.The soup isn't hot. 
7.- Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions? 
Student: Well...yes and no.
8.- The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simplepresent. 
The student: I walk. You walk .... 
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please. 
The student: I run. You run ... 
9.- In a restaurant:
Customer: Waiter, waiter! Thereis a frog in my soup!!! 
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation. 
10.- Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework? 
Student: No, he did it all by himself.