This book is dedicated to all the lovely ladies out there
whose stories inspired us to write this book.
May we never need to write another one.
There are a few people whom without their involvement this book would never have come to be. First and foremost, we must thank all the supremely talented inhabitants of the writers’ room of Sex and the City. They are:Cindy Chupack, Jenny Bicks, Amy B. Harris, Julia Sweeney, Julie Rottenberg, Elisa Zuritsky (who together wrote the amazing episode that first brought the “He’s just not that into you” message to the world), and of course, our brilliant leader, Michael Patrick King. Much love and deepest gratitude goes to all of them for their support, generosity, and superhuman funniness.
We would like to thankall those who facilitated this crazy book idea right from the start. They are John Melfi, Sarah Condon, Richard Oren, and everyone else who pitched in to help at HBO. Super agent and friend Greg Cavic at ICM got the whole ball rolling, and big thanks to Julie James for moving it all along when necessary. Our deepest gratitude goes to our book agent, Andy Barzvi, who was the first person to takethis book to heart, and then managed to sell the hell out of it. Many thanks to our editor, Patrick Price, who has never been anything less than a gentleman and a scholar.
Thank you to the men and women who filled out our questionnaires, told us stories, asked us questions, and kept us honest. We thank all our friends and families for their enthusiastic encouragement, particularly ShirleyTuccillo and Kristen Behrendt.
Last but not least, we must thank Amiira Ruotola Behrendt, whose collaboration, passion, humor, talent, love, and extraordinarily foxy great example, made this book rock.
Note to the Reader
The stories you will read in this book are illustrative examples, not based on specific events or people. No matter what anyone might think, they are not transparent attemptsto publicly mock our friends, enemies, or exes.
(However, we’re not going to say the thought didn’t cross our minds.)
Table of Contents
Introduction by Liz
Introduction by Greg.
You Are All Dating the Same Guy
1 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Asking You Out
2 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Calling You
3 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Dating You
4 He’s JustNot That Into You If He’s Not Having Sex with You
5 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Having Sex with Someone Else
6 He’s Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants to See You When He’s Drunk
7 He’s Just Not That Into You If He Doesn’t Want to Marry You
8 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Breaking Up with You
9 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Disappeared on You
10 He’s Just Not That IntoYou If He’s Married (and Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)
11 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak
12 Don’t Listen to These Stories
13 Now What Do You Do?
14 Q&A with Greg
15 Closing Remarks from Greg
16 Closing Remarks from Liz
Introduction by Liz
It started out just like any other day. We were all working in the writers’ roomof Sex and the City, talking, pitching ideas, our personal love lives weaving in and out of the fictional lives we were creating
in the room. And just like on any other day, one of the women on staff asked for feedback on a the behavior of a man whom she liked. He was giving her mixed messages—she was confused. We were happy to pitch in and pick apart all the signs and signals of his actions. Andjust like on any other day, after much analysis and debate, we concluded that she was fabulous, he must be scared, he’s never met a woman as great as her, he is intimidated, and she should just give him time. But on this day, we had a male consultant in the room—someone who comes in a couple of times a week to give feedback on story lines and gives a great straight-male perspective: Greg...