Rules Of Parenting

INGL 3211 – Section 030
October 19, 2012

Rules of Parenting

In most families, there is at least one child that is good at a sport or hobby where they can further develop themselves. The parents of these children can take different attitudes towards their child’s potential. One of those attitudes or behaviors is to let your children grow by themselves with adult supervision, letting themmake their own decisions or to be constantly demanding them to do better next time and to perfect themselves instead of being proud of their child’s accomplishments. I believe that parents should not pressure or obsess about their children on doing everything perfectly when it comes to what the children consider a hobby because this kind of behavior affects the relationship between the parents andthe children, if culture is involved, it could affect the way they what surrounds them, and it can create a extrinsic motivation.
In the story “Rules of the Game”, the family that we see in the story is a Chinese family. Chinese culture tends to be very strict in every strict. An important aspect of a children’s life is the culture and how it affects them. Waverly’s mother, influences her kindson being very active and indirectly telling them that they have to do things right when she says: “Chinese do many things…Not like lazy American people. We do torture. Best Torture.”(Tan 736). We can use the example that the mom gives, she is telling her daughter that they not only torture, but they are the best at torturing. It is also noticeable in the quote the racism against Americans. Theauthor is reflected in the racism since Kathryn Hume states that Amy Tan can be attacked for racism. So we see in what environment Waverly’s mother raised her children. “Next time win more, lose less” (Tan 739), here is an example of her mother insisting her to do better he next time instead of just feeling happy for her daughter for winning her fist chess match. Waverly’s mother is clearly notpaying attention to the consequences this may have on Waverly since she might develop a low self-esteem thinking that she is not good enough.
“Extrinsic motivation refers to participation in an activity based on external values and demands... External regulation of behavior is controlled by social demands and rewards.” (Wang and Guthrie). That is something that is clearly seen in “Rules of theGame”.”That’s when my mother decided I no longer had to do the dishes.” (Tan 740), this is a clear example of extrinsic motivation. Another example is “My parents made many concessions to allow me to practice.” (Tan 740). So we see how Waverly starts to get alienated from her responsibilities from her home and as a little girl since she does not go out and play as a girl her age should.
Throughoutthe story it shows how the mother and daughter relationship starts to get affected. Some of these reasons are because Waverly’s mother is constantly keeping an eye on her making sure that she does everything right, “My mother had a habit of standing over me while I plotted out my games.” (Tan 740), so we see that her mother is not only obsessing, but she is also taking away her own space. Waverlystarts to get annoyed and tired of her mom being all about her games, because when talking to other people that is all she talks about, “I wish you wouldn’t do that, telling everybody I’m your daughter.” (Tan 741). It is also noticeable, that her mom’s head is full of hot air, because of her daughter’s accomplishments. Because of all of this Waverly, runs away from her mother for a day because shefeels too overwhelmed because of the situation.
On the contrary, some people believe that it is very important to inculcate the culture to their children because it helps to mold them as a person and in their way of thinking. But they do not pay attention to the consequences it has on their children, since it is a strict culture, and kids Waverly’s age do not fully comprehend, it affects...