It's Hard Enough Being Me By Anna Lisa Raya

It's Hard Enough Being Me by Anna Lisa Raya
(an inspirational essay)

When I entered college, I discovered I was Latina. Until then, I had never questioned who I was or where I was from: My fatheris a second-generation Mexican-American, born and raised in Los Angeles, and my mother was born in Puerto-Rico and raised in Compton, Calif. My home is El Sereno, a predominantly Mexican neighborhoodin L.A. Every close friend I have back home is Mexican. So I was always just Mexican. Though sometimes I was just Puerto Rican-like when we would visit Mamo(my grandma) or hang out with my Aunt Titi.Upon arriving in New York as a first-year student, 3,000 miles away from home, I not only experienced extreme culture shock, but for the first time I had to define myself according to the broad term"Latina." Although culture shock and identity crisis are common for the newly minted collegian who goes away to school, my experience as a newly minted Latina was, and still is, even morecomplicating.In El Sereno, I felt like I was part of a majority, whereas at the college I am a minority.
I've discovered that many Latinos like myself have undergone similar experiences.We face discriminationfor being a minority in this country while also facing criticism for being "whitewashed" or "sellouts" in the countries of our heritage. But as an ethnic group in college, we are forced to defineourselves according to some vague, generalized Latino experience. This requires us to know our history, our language, our music, and our religion. I can't even be a content "Puerto Mexican," because I haveto be a politically-and-socially-aware-Latina-with-a-chip-on-my-shoulder-because-of-how-repressed-I-am-in-this-couintry.
I am none of the above. I am the quintessential imperfect Latina. I can'tdance salsa to save my life, I learned about Montezuma and the Aztecs in the sixth grade, and I haven't prayed to the Virgen de Guadalupe in years.
Apparently I don't even look Latina. I can't count...