Libreto

Libreto de ingles.
Ospina: to america’s next top inventor, the nation’s #1 variety show. I’m your host, chimichanga diaz, and tonight, 3 contestants are participating for the prize of a lifetime: a coveted partnership with wall-mart industries and a million dollars check.
Now, let’s meet our judges, shall we? He’s China’s most powerful entrepeneur and the creator of the beloved 3-headed dildocukita tepika. On the other side we have the star of CBS hit comedy “quiffle” and a renowned platinum rap artist, grantoon focker: they are the ones to please tonight, which is quite the special evening.
These 3 contestants are among the most compelling characters you’ll ever meet and their heart-wrenching stories will forever alter your perception of what it means to be a warrior. Is not enoughwith the cheese talk; let’s brought contestant #1: he’s a family man with a moving story of lost and redemption. Let’s hear it for Mr. Richard Dickson.
Salgado: what’s up America. How you doing? Are you fine? How is…
Ospina: ok motor mouth. So a little bird told me that you’re in it to win it. I right?
Salgado: hell yeah! My invention is gone-changing your eyes have never laid up on t…Ospina: ok, so tell us about your story? Your upbringing?
Salgado: ok, so my namy is Richard Dickson. I’m from arkandas . I just turned 35 and I live with my wife, shoshandra, and my two kids, marylin and manso. Last year we were on our way to Disneyland when we suffered a car accident. My wife and daughter lost an arm each and I lost my balls.
Ospina: your balls?
Salgado: my eyeballs, I mean.Ospina: oh, ok I was feeling fear down there. On my balls you know. Ok, enough, talk us about your invention.
Salgado: so, one day my wife lost her keys and couldn’t go into the house. Suddenly, an storm took place. She got so wet that she adquired a disease called vagingolous gullupullus.
Ospina: what’s that?
Salgado: fungus on your vagina. So, anyway, I was thinking what if she had gotten anumbrella she didn’t have to carry with her hand, because, you know she’s handicapped. So I invented the carry-o-umbrella. It’s a device that allows you to carry it without yours hands. Like a backpack with an umbrella incorporated. Think about the stuff you can do. You can talk on your phone, write on the street while it’s raining, you can even carry your baby. It’s very inventive an useful as neck.Ospina: ok. Sounds good to me. What do you think, judges?
Bruce: yes, yes, yes, yes… mother effer. That’s because I can’t say the F-word on prime-time television but that was intense, like an Eminem-meets-50 cent story going on there. It was so sick and awesome. I mean, I only thought my wife had vagingullus gullupullus. Well… as for the creation,it was great . I definetly would give it an A+. not as good as those designer condoms but close enough.
Zarate: very clever. Not since my 3-headed dildo! I have seen an invention so useful. It could change the life of millions of people. It may not be as good as that 3D porno that became the most successful movie since avatar, but it’s well done and very compact. it’s a hit and I give it a 10.Ospina: ok, those where Jackie chan and grantson focker there now.
Zarate: I’m not Jackie chan!!
Ospina: yes you are. You’re yellow. And speaking of something more interesting and less eye-scratched as Mr jet li down there, let’s bring contestant #2 to the stage: he is young , bright and faster than an utopian guy, let’s shout for Mr Herbert fitzpervert.
Gomez; hi, how are you doing? Hi judges?Ospina: so… you’re handicapped, right?
Gomez: weel I’m on a wheelchair, so… I guess so, I mean I…
Ospina: ok hot wheels . cut the chase and tell us your story.
Gomez: ok, so I used to study on N.Y and I always tooked the metro to get there. I used to enter at 8 a.m and, since I had a job at a bar, I didn’t get any sleep, I slept on the metro. One day I was just resting a...