Over The Top Behaviour

RAISING
CHILDREN
CONFIDENTLY

OVER-THE-TOP
BEHAVIOUR
IN THE
UNDER TENS
Normal Childhood
Behaviour or
Problem Behaviour?

Children in Wales is the National
umbrella children’s organisation in
Wales, bringing organisations and
individuals together to:
Make the United Nations Convention
on the Rights of the Child a reality
in Wales

The National Family and Parenting
Instituteis an independent charity set
up to enhance the value and quality of
family life.
Original text by the National Family and
Parenting Institute.

Fight for sustainable quality services
and fair shares for all children and
young people
Ensure special attention and
treatment for children in need
Give children and young people
a voice
Children in Wales works in partnership
with theNational Children’s Bureau in
England and Children in Scotland, and
works internationally with Eurochild
and The International Forum for Child
Welfare.
Children in Wales has worked in
partnership with the National Family
and Parenting Institute.

This leaflet was sponsored by the Welsh Assembly Government

Introduction
We want our children to behave well, and:
To be polite to others
Toknow how to behave in different
situations
To be able to concentrate and pay
attention
To share and to take turns
To know how to win…
and how to lose
But children often behave quite
differently, and we may feel annoyed,
frustrated and embarrassed. If they
keep behaving in ways we find difficult,
worries or doubts might begin to creep
in. Is my child’s behaviour over the top
or is itjust normal childhood
boisterousness and high spirits? Has it
gone too far? Has my child got
behaviour problems?

Contents
Growing up with ‘Dennis the
Menace’ or ‘Minnie the Minx?’

2

Dealing with Pressure

3

When does ‘bad’ behaviour
become a problem?

4

This leaflet tries to show some of the
differences between normal childhood
behaviour and when there are more
seriousproblems.

What can parents do?
Managing ‘normal’ bad behaviour

6

Healthy Eating

8

Parents of disabled children may face
additional challenges and pressures,
which cannot be addressed within this
booklet. However, there are details of
organisations that may be able to help
in the Contacts section.

Getting some support
for yourself

10

More serious problems –
the nextsteps

11

1
1

Growing up with ‘Dennis the Menace’
or ‘Minnie the Minx’
All children sometimes behave badly.
They:
Have tantrums
Shout and scream
Hit siblings, parents, friends
Don’t do as they’re told
Break things, spill things, squash things
Don’t listen or concentrate
This is normal behaviour. Children are
finding out what happens when they
have a tantrum, hit another child,say
rude words.
Children take risks. It is part of growing
up. They take risks physically, and they
take risks in behaviour. They are
checking out what their parents will
draw the line at, what they can and
can’t do. Taking risks helps them
understand what is acceptable.
Parents develop their own ways of
looking after their children. There is no
simple recipe; it takes time for childrento learn how to behave, and for parents
to work out the best way of getting the
best out of their child.
What makes children behave in
challenging ways?
There is often a reason behind a child’s
behaviour; children do not usually
misbehave just to upset their parents.
2

Some reasons might be:
They are trying to find out what they
are or are not allowed to do
They might be upset oranxious
about school
They might feel jealous of their
brother or sister
They want their parent to watch
them or listen to them
Behaviour patterns can get stuck in a
spiral. Most children at some point will
misbehave to get attention. If a parent
is troubled, or doesn’t pay much
attention when children are good and
quiet, some children will decide that
being noisy and behaving badly is...