Emotional intelligence

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Emotional intelligence-chapters 5 & 6
Chapter 5 ego and being
After reading this chapter you will be able to understand the difference between ego and being, and understand how does people function and what the role of emotions in personality mechanisms is.
most of the times we think that when something goes wrong is because someone intended to be so, but that’s only a mechanism that peopleuse in order to cover what they are really feeling of the situation they are living.
In order to avoid that, you have to be honest with your feelings and recognize if you still feel and react of a problem in a negative way and why.
Do not be afraid of feeling, all things that you feel are part of you, not being guilty of your feelings and feel them totally will let you know yourself and your realinner being.
We have to remind to ourselves that we are the creators and responsible of our emotions and how we live them.
If we pay attention to our emotions they can tell us what are our fears, what are we hiding of, what can’t we handle to be known about us.
But being enough vulnerable to accept our fears will make us stronger because we know our weakness and by recognizing them we will beable to work them.
We all have a personality and the vehicle by which it is transported is called ego.
But it shows a part the part of personality that is animal, basic, instinctive, and impulsive, that wants revenge and fast results.
There is also this other part that is called being, this being is our essence, it represents the whole emotions desires and everything that conforms you. The partthat is real and that is what we actually are and we are hiding because we feel guilt, but we have to stop judging and start learning from our emotions, where they come from, and why. Ego and being are connected.
Inside the ego or personality there are 3 basic levels
Emotional level: thoughts and believing
Mental level: emotions and feelings
Fiscal level: body and actions
what you thoughtis part of what you feel, and therefore by it you act, but it is necessary to mention that the base of your actions are first founded in your thoughts.
The role of mind is precisely to direct in an efficient way all the rest mechanisms of personality with the only two options that mind got:
* having a narrow mental filter
* having a wide mental filter
So they key to having a moreappropriate perception of reality is by enlarging our mental filter .this mental filter is like our point of view, our mental structure, it involves how we perceive things how we feel, react, and act.
when you have a narrow mental filter you reach to a n evolution of ego called egocentrism in which we center our feelings and emotions and believe that t=what we feel is correct, what we think is correct,because we thought it and we can’t be wrong, only others are wrong.
There are two mechanisms that explain why we feel how we feel
2-defense systems
When you feel that others share the same point of view of you are projecting your feelings that will do no good to yourself, you have to have clear that everyone have their own point of view and no point of view is the correct onebut the middle point of them.
When you are projecting your see what you don’t like from yourself in others, because you are really hiding your feelings and emotions but you can use it (projection) as mechanism of self recognition to realize how you are and why you are projecting your emotions and which ones do this emotions are and how you are.
The defense systems
When we feel we are attackedby some kind of external factor that made us weak and show our own private Achilles heel.
We react toward people reactions saying that you like or don’t like someone but the truth is that you like qualities that you admire and hate defects that we have.
The defense system is the armour’s of the ego that preserves and protects us against unpleasant events or things that may cause damage.
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