Psicologia

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One day, a worried neighbor called the police because he heard horrible screams coming from the lady who lived next door. When the police arrived to herhouse, the lady was dead next to the toilet, where there were a thousand baby shrimps she gave birth to. They found a lot of lesbian porno magazines next to the lady's bathtub and a gigantic lobsterin her trash can. Apparently, she bought the lobster at a local fish market and masturbated with it and using a lighter to disturb it so it would move wildly. The lobster had eaten the shrimps beforeand it excreted them as a way of protection. The shrimps incubated inside the lady's v-jay jay and were born two days later.
Said the old man, "just to look round a bit, you know."

"Better whereyou are," said the sergeant-major, shaking his head. He put down the empty glass, and sighing softly, shook it again.

"I should like to see those old temples and fakirs and jugglers," said the oldman. "What was that you started telling me the other day about a monkey's paw or something, Morris?"

"Nothing," said the soldier hastily. "Leastways, nothing worth hearing."

"Monkey's paw?"said Mrs. White curiously.

"Well, it's just a bit of what you might call magic, perhaps," said the sergeant-major off-handedly.

His three listeners leaned forward eagerly. The visitorabsentmindedly put his empty glass to his lips and then set it down again. His host filled it for him.

"To look at," said the sergeant-major, fumbling in his pocket, "it's just an ordinary little paw, driedto a mummy."

He took something out of his pocket and proffered it. Mrs. White drew back with a grimace, but her son, taking it, examined it curiously.

"And what is there special about it?"inquired Mr. White, as he took it from his son and, having examined it, placed it upon the table.

"It had a spell put on it by an old fakir," said the sergeant-major, "a very holy man. He wanted...