Mi Propia Declaracion De Independencia

Dear strange parents:
Thanks for giving me the opportunity of living in this weird world- nobody asked you to do it, but I appreciate it. During my beautiful existence in this dumb planet, I alwaysthought you were like superheroes. However, now that I grew older, I really think that your role in my life is to make it miserable, like the villians in the fairytales.
I am responsible enough toget my freaking driver's license, go out with my friends without having to ask for permission, and EAT IN MY ROOM. Like really, dads? There's something called FREEDOM. I have the right to get my nosepierced, and I have the right to permanently draw anything I want on my body, like those sensual and stupid tattooed men. I'm not a princess... I am the KING! I'm old enough to do what I want, andwhenever I want. I can differentiate right from wrong as well as I can differentiate between some Chanel high heels and some Anne Michelle ones (not a good shoe brand).
Mom, remember when you pinkypromised me my professional camera? Yeah, you didn't buy it to me. The consequences of your terrible act: You have to cut your pinky finger... I'm sorry, mom. Now, dad, remember when you made me believethat boys were bad for me?. YOU WERE WRONG! They are awesome. Well, some of them. REAL TALK. Even if they're jerks sometimes. You woke me up so early the day after having gone to a wild party, andthat is NOT ACCEPTABLE. You make me wait for the coming of age for the things I want to do, but when I'm 18 years old, you will lengthen the age and say the following: "You do what I say as long as youlive under my roof."
Mommy.. Daddy.. Now let's get to the important point, I love you, and I appreciate all the good things you did for me... but I don't need you to tell me what to do when Ialready know it. I'm here to tell you that I will become independent and be free for the rest of my life.

P.S. This doesn't mean that I'm not going to ask you for some money:)
P.S. #2: Leave some food...