5 Secrets to a happy marriage: revealed by divorce

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5 Secrets to a Happy Marriage: Revealed by Divorce
By Sarah B. Weir, Yahoo! blogger
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By Sarah B. Weir, Yahoo! blogger | Love + Sex – 3 hours ago
[pic]Secrets to a happy marriage.(Photo: Thinkstock)In 25 years of studying marriage, Dr. Terri Orbuch, research professor at the University of Michigan and author of the new book "Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and HappyRelationship," has found that some of the best relationship advice comes from people who are actually divorced.
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In 1986, Orbuch embarked on a long-termstudy, supported by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), which followed the relationships of 373 newlyweds. By 2012, 46% had divorced, about the same as the national average. In interviews withOrbuch, people who had divorced or ended a serious relationship over and over again brought up the same five issues that they would improve if they had the chance to do it all again.
1. Money. Over thecourse of her research, one the biggest surprises for Orbuch was the role money played in marital strife. “Many divorced singles say that money was the number one source of conflict in the early yearsof marriage,” she tells Yahoo! Shine. She also found that, “6 out of 10 said they would not share living expenses in their next relationship.” She recommends that each partner evaluate their ownapproach to spending and saving money and discuss with their spouse early on. She says there is no one-size-fits-all-financial plan, but couples need to determine their own rules and adhere to them.Related: How much Wedding will $20,000 Buy?
2. Affection. Another surprise was that men crave affection—but not necessarily sex—more than women. “It’s counterintuitive,”says Orbuch, “but men cravefeeling special and being noticed by their wives.”She adds that men who report not getting enough nonsexual affection were twice as likely to ask for a divorce, but the reverse was not true for women....
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