Sketch en inglés

Script 2
Scene 1
Leonard: So you see, what you’re eating is not technically yoghurt, because it doesn’t have enough live acidophilus cultures.
Penny: Oh, that’s very interesting.
Leonard: It’s also not pink and has no berries.
Penny: Yeah, but it doesn’t really answer my question.
Leonard: What was your question again?
Penny: Do you want some.
Leonard: Oh, right, no, I’m lactoseintolerant.
Penny: Right.
Leonard: So, gas.
Penny: Got it.
Leonard: Hey, Why don’t we just go into your room and have some fun….
Penny: You know what, maybe we should just slow things down a little. It’s only our first date.
Leonard: Yeah, okay, sure, no problem, why don’t we just figure out where we’re going, and when we want to get there.
Penny: Or we could just put it off.
Leonard: That mightwork too.
Penny: OK Then goodnight Leonard.
Leonard: Goodnight.
Scene 2
Howard: Oh, hey, Leonard, how was your date?
Leonard: Well, it went fine.
Howard: Dude, she said she wants to slow things down.
Leonard: How do you know that?
Howard: Because every woman that you date tells you that at the end of the date.
Leonard: Okay, so, she said she wants to slow things down. It’s like saying “I’mreally enjoying this meal, I’m going to slow down and savor it.”
Howard: No, it’s like “this fish tastes bad, so I’m going to slow down and spit it out.” and You’re being the fish.
Leonard: I’m not the fish.
Howard: Oh really, did you make a second date.
Leonard: Well, we sort of decided to put it off.
Sheldon: That’s a shame.
Leonard: Okay, alright, let’s assume your hypothesis. We went todinner, we talked, we laughed, where could I have possibly gone wrong.
Howard: Think back, Leonard, the littlest things can set women off. Like, hey, the waitress is hot, I bet we could get her to come home with us. Or, how much does your mom weigh, I want to know what I’m getting into.
Leonard: I didn’t say anything like that.
Howard: Good, Because they don’t work.
Leonard: Everything wentfine. But Wait, I think I know what the problem is. Maybe she doesn’t want to have sex with someone that doesn’t have a job.
Howard: You’re right, maybe that’s the problem.
Leonard: Then I think I'm going to become a lion tamer.
Howard: That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming
Leonard: Yes I do!
Howard: Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes to you all roaringand biting, what are you gonna do?
Leonard: Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down.
Howard: Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?
Leonard: Well, then I take that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down.Howard: Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What are you gonna do then?
Leonard: Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him.
Howard: Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?
Leonard: Well, then I pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage.
Howard:Well, what if there is no shit in the bottom of the cage? What are you gonna do then?
Leonard: Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that.

Script 1
[Charlie is sitting in the living room, reading his paper. He sipshis coffee and pulls a face. Alan is mopping the floor beside him, disturbing him.]
Charlie: Alan?
Alan: Yea?
Charlie: I can see you.
Alan: [as if to a child] And I can see you too.
Charlie: No, I mean, my maid never cleaned when I was in the room. She was like, invisible.
Alan: I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more transparent.
Charlie: Appreciate it.
[Alan leaves the room. Rose is peering...