Asking Honestly

Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 17

F.L.A.S.H.

Communication 2:
Asking Honestly for What
You Want
Grades 7 and 8, Lesson #17

Time Needed
One class period or less

Student Learning Objectives
To be able to…
1. Formulate an assertive request.
2. Describe how it feels to risk rejection.
3. Appreciate that, in risking rejection, one stands a chance of gettingacceptance or
resolution.

Agenda
1. Use the Asking Honestly for What You Want Reference Sheet to introduce the four
steps involved in making an assertive request.
2. Explain the focus of today’s lesson (Steps A and B).
3. Play The Asking Game.
4. Optional: Assign homework.

Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash

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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 17

F.L.A.S.H.

Materials Needed:
Classroom Materials: (1 per class)
•

Asking Game Cards

Student Materials: (1 per student)
•
•
•

Asking Honestly For What You Want Reference Sheet
OPTIONAL: Family Homework Exercise: Communication 2
OPTIONAL: Communication Worksheet 2

Public Health – Seattle & KingCounty ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash

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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 17

F.L.A.S.H.

Activities
1. Hand out the Asking Honestly For What You Want Reference Sheet. Either read it
aloud, as students follow along, or, if you have no “reluctant readers,” have students read it
to themselves, or have studentstake turns or volunteer reading aloud.
2. Explain that, today, you’ll be practicing steps A and B, “stating a fact or a feeling” and
“asking straight for what you want.”
3. Play The Asking Game. You will have made 32 “asking game cards” (two single sided
photocopies of each page, cut into four parts, so that you have two copies of each situation,
32 slips of paper in all representing 16different situations). This is a NON-COMPETITIVE
game.
Give each person a game card. You will have some extra cards left over, unless there are
32 students. Give the class four minutes to try filling in the blanks on their slips.
Then you have two options:
a) Have a student volunteer to begin. She/he reads the situation aloud, and reads the
assertive request (A & B). Then whoever has the samesituation reads their assertive
request aloud. Then have someone else volunteer. Don’t forget to collect all 32 cards
when you are done -- for tomorrow’s class; or
b) Gather the cards and read and role play them yourself. We recommend the more
participatory version, unless your class is too rambunctious for it to be productive.
Having two people address each situation allows you to demonstrate thatthere is more
than one possible way to phrase an assertive request. Summarize by pointing that out.

Homework
Students’ options:
• Family Homework Exercise: Communication 2
• Communication Worksheet 2
• Make a poster or collage of the word “PLEASE” in as many languages as you can. Or in
Ameslan (the sign language of the deaf ... i.e. draw or paint the hand sign).

Public Health –Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash

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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 17

F.L.A.S.H.

Asking Honestly For What You
Want Reference Sheet
Have trouble asking assertively for what you want? Afraid you might get turned down?
Just remember, if you don’t ask, people can’t read your mind. And if you“ask” in a
manipulative or aggressive way, you turn people off. It’s easy to ask assertively. There
are four steps:
1.
2.
3.
4.

State a fact or a feeling.
Describe what you’d like. If they say, “No”…
Ask for your second choice. If they still say, “No”…
Accept it gracefully.

For example: Jackie and P.J. are in the same home room. Jackie doesn’t feel like
walking home from school....