16 April 2010
Does Age Matter in a Relationship?
The really interesting thing about a relationship is that you cannot immediately predict who you may eventually end up falling in love with. Countless factors influence the selection as to whom someone starts a relationship with. Some of the factors mayinclude: taste preferences, worldviews, sense of humor, hobbies and even age. Age however, is one of the most interesting and controversial factors that relationships carry on. In general, people tend to declare themselves not to be judgmental when it comes to other people’s lives; nevertheless, if the age gap between relationships is noticeable, the bickering among people starts. We live in asociety where partnerships are supposed to be around the same age. If not, there is something wrong or suspicious about it. All kinds of claims of disapproving come to debate without making an allowance for certain outcomes. If the male is younger than the female, he perhaps is interested in showing her to his friends as a trophy and she must be somehow negating her own age. On the other hand, if afemale is younger than the male, she might be taking the benefit of his money or having father issues and he must be taking advantage of her. Either way such cases are based upon judgments people dislike when they are in such situations but accept when they are the ones judging. Essentially, while some people say age does in fact matter given that it is not socially accepted; people should come torealize that what really matters in relationships are things such as the maturity instead of the age and mostly the pursuit of happiness.
One primary reason why age does not matter in relationships is that people often confuse maturity with age. People say when there are five or more years of difference it is difficult to have a good relationship, especially because the younger one is less maturethan the other one. However, if we think about it, what actually matters here is the maturity, not the age itself. There are people who are really young but they are in fact pretty mature to their own age. Maturity does not depend on the age, but depends on the lifestyles, experiences and relationships. Moreover, we can find people of sixteen year old who are truly mature; and well as we can alsofind people of forty-four years who are really immature. Columnist Anne Rebar states,
“I must say I know some 22- and 23-year-olds with equal or greater maturity than some 35-year-olds, while others' personal growth seems to have been stunted around age 18. It's much more likely those with higher maturity levels would have more luck dating someone older than sticking within their own age groupand dealing with an overgrown teenager.”
For example, Anne Rebar points out something important here: why should we stop dating someone with years of difference, if we found it more pleasant because of the level of maturity that we have? Even if we are young, we can be sufficiently mature for our own age, and not just because the person that is compatible with one it is older, means that wecannot date with him/her. Perhaps that person is really mature and we feel comfortable with him or her. Or it could be the case that the person is really immature for his age, but adjust with our advanced maturity. Why should age be an impediment to continue with that relationship? I such cases what should be considered it is the maturity of people and the ability to create a relationship betweenthose two persons. If we think about it, what actually matters in a relationship is the maturity of the people involved instead of the age.
The main reason as of why someone starts a relationship is to fulfill a human need of love and happiness for both parts involucrate on it; therefore, they are both the most important ingredients in a relationship. Happiness is the most important thing in our...