Pokemon

Pokémon took a dump on knowledge

It’s really hard to take on Pokémon - Ash was our ever-prepubescent selves, we all wanted to bang Misty, Pikachu would’ve been our dream pet, and Brock was ourethnically non-denominated best friend (maybe he’s a relative of Dora?) – but someone has to.

After growing (somewhat) up I’ve been able to notice how cartoons and characters influenced us much morethan I ever thought. Before I bash on Pokémon though, it’s good to see what it has brought to the table, what it has taught us about the walks of life. Nothing is solely good or solely bad.

Pokémontaught me a great deal about friendship and being nice to our pets. It also taught me how dog fighting might not be as bad as I thought it once was. It taught me the value of magic in life and how toappreciate nature. It reconfirmed how much school sucks (SPOILER: IT REALLY SUCKS) and that unsupervised adventures were much more fun than the regulated monotony of school life (You can tell itreally, really sucks, right?).

PHOTO OF SCHOOL/ Caption: Pictured, major sucking

I also learned that no matter how hard women try, skimpy outfits are the one thing that will land them respectablecareers, twins are awesome (and the more the merrier), and that there is a higher tendency for homosexuality amongst men that own cats. Misty has me wanting for a redheaded acrobat and Brock taught methe value of affirmative action. He might also be the underlying reason I supported Obama.

On the other hand (the one covered in shit), Pokémon has transgressed against our knowledge. Besides theindirect harm it brought to pets worldwide as kids tried to “catch ‘em” with impromptu Pokéballs made with rocks, sharpies, and a sock, it’s done much more harm to the intellect. It’s made a mockeryof evolution. Millions upon millions of years of evolutionary beauty disregarded by eyes created through the same process. People expect evolution to come overnight; monkeys turn into advanced...