Have you ever read something and enjoyed it so much you wished you’d never
read it, just so you could read it again for the first time? The first time is magical,
right? It doesn’t matter how many times you read it again, it’s never quite as
This is your chance to read something truly amazing for the first time.You’ll
only get this chance once, so don’t blow it. I want you to get the most out of this,
so you’re going to have to trust me. Do exactly as you’re told.
If you’re not alone right now then put this away immediately. Magic - real
magic - is shy of company. It’s not going to happen if you’re reading this in a
crowded coffee shop or sat on a packed train.
Only read from here if you’re alone.Good. We’ve started.
Now I need you to do a few more things for me - just a few small things.
Think of this as an instruction manual, a process you have to follow if you want a
thing to work. I’m not trying to be pushy or boss you around just for the sake of it.
I just want this to work for you.
Go somewhere you can close the door behind you and read this without
being disturbed. It doesn’tmatter where - your bedroom will do, or a toilet.
Anywhere you can go without someone walking in on you. And like I said, close
the door after you.
Maybe some of you are reading this and haven’t done as you’ve been
instructed. Do you wish you’d played along? I guarantee you, it’s better to be a
part of this than to simply eavesdrop on the magic. It mightn’t be too late though. I
can’t promiseanything but if you go to a quiet place now and close the door... I’ll
see what I can do.
So, here we are. Or rather, there you are. I really hope you’re enjoying this
so far. I know nothing has actually happened yet, but aren’t you excited? Is your
curiosity growing larger and larger? Enjoy this. This is the only time you can feel
what you are feeling now. The wonder of what’s going tohappen, the half-formed
conclusions some of you may already have made - all of this can only happen
once, can only happen now, can only happen the first time.
Some of the magic has begun already. You are alone in a room, true, but you
are also unified with all the people who have ever done this before you, and all of
those who will do it after you. Can you feel each other? Perhaps you feel sillyabout this whole thing, or maybe you feel privileged. You are each a part of an
invisible crowd, gathered together outside of time, reading the same words.
Don’t worry, that’s not the punch of it, and this certainly isn’t a joke. I’m not
here to waste your time with talk of the metaphysical. And to prove it, we’ll move
I take it there’s light in your chosen room or you wouldn’t be ableto read this,
Come on, you can answer me if I ask you a question! In fact you have to
answer me if you want this to work. I’ll ask you again. Answer this time. Loud and
clear, don’t be afraid. Just say, “Right”.
Now, now, everybody, let’s all play along. All I want is one little spoken word
in exchange for all the words I’ve given you so far. Remember, I’m doing this for
you - this isthe only chance you’ll get and I want it to work.
Answer my question.
Well done! You might have felt silly saying it aloud but there’s nobody here to
hear you and what harm has been done? Now you can continue to enjoy this,
knowing that you’ve followed the instructions perfectly. And when you follow
instructions perfectly, things tend to work.
Do whatever it takes to get your room as darkas possible so that there’s just
enough light for you to still make out these words. Draw the curtains closed, turn
off the main light and put on a side-light. Better still, light a candle or read with the
flame from a cigarette lighter. I hate to keep reminding you, but it really will be
worth it if you do as I say. It would be such a shame for you to miss out having
already come as far as...